#and it's never been fully dubbed in english for some reason

[ananinidraws]

Was feeling a bit nostalgic~

[maxwell-grant]

Thoughts on Lupin: Part 3

Covered my thoughts on seasons 1 and 2 already and I just finished season 3 so I'm gonna write about it here. Bottom line: HahahahaHA this show rules so much man.

Everything that was strong about the prior seasons is still there if not better, and they patched up several things I otherwise disliked about it. Also god I missed the mark big time by watching the prior seasons with the English dub for some reason, no wonder I didn't like most of the characters when they all sounded like they were sleepwalking. Just, watch with the French audio, don't be an idiot like me.

I actually like Assane's family now? Maybe that's because of the dub thing letting me see the actual performances, but there seemed to be a lot more effort this season to make us care about Claire and Raoul's own struggles and the really bad things they have to deal with because of Assane and how they deal with them. There's an extent to which these characters exist because otherwise Assane would suffer no consequences and no caveats to just doing whatever he wants, a.k.a the cool Lupin stuff we signed up for but can't be too over-indulged in, and that made them feel more like roadblocks than people, but to me this time they actually feel more like people, and people who can have their own things going on or even get involved in the good stuff without compromising their importance, and those consequences thus actually matter more.

God I can't believe how great the disguises were this season and how many there were. Again, definitely feels like they had to refine the process in the first two seasons so we can have this one with Assane actually going the nine yards with multiple overlapping fake personas and disguises per episode. Omar is masterful in all of them and the show seems so confident that it even lets Ben, Guedira and Claire dip their toes in the action a bit. I was actually really impressed by Coach Alex, even though he does look a bit uncanny and a little A.I-ish. I could still buy that as a real person.

It's doing this thing I really like that The Shadow does, where the character has a lot of different methods by which he achieves his disguises ranging from high-tech/borderline fantasy to very simple DIY tools, but the process featured is obscured enough that you can never fully tell which is being used, and so the character can have this borderline superpower still grounded enough to not look like one.

I actually didn't mind the villain this time around. There's a nice progression of putting Assane against an invisible and seemingly invincible shadowy gang forcing him to do their bidding (which lets them do the heist-of-the-week format without compromising the larger plot), that turns out to be just one horrible man from his past armed with henchmen and a grudge, which means he gets to be developed and taken out within the season without much delay and without Assane having to make stupid out-of-character blunders to let him escape to menace another day (which was a problem I had with Pelligrini). I like that Keller gets to be legitimately scary as a threat to Assane's loved ones, but is also undone by being a stupid piece of shit who only knows how to abuse and manipulate children until they all turn on him, and once he and Assane are on even ground he goes out like a chump.

Putting Pellegrini completely out of sight and saving him for the final twist where he's been pulling a Kingpin in prison with god knows what consequences even warmed me up to him as a villain, if nothing else because, okay, a Lupin worth his name needs a Cagliostro menace, and the ending twist isn't even about him so much as it's about the betrayal of someone Assane confided in.

And unfortunately that ending twist is good enough that it would be awful if any of those three turned out to be the backstabbers and there's equal arguments for being any of them (I don't think it's going to be Pellegrini's daughter precisely because she's the most predictable, I don't think they'd do the Countess of Cagliostro that 1-to-1)

(Art is from the cover of Lupin: Échec à la reine, which is a prequel novel focused on Benjamin. I don't think it's been translated to English but it got published in Brazil.)

Look, it's good drama, yes, we need stakes to keep this going, yes, but BEN NOOOOO, GODDAMNIT ASSANE

Unfortunately I can't fault Assane that much despite the fact that he barely knew his mom. There was no good option there, Ben would have fumbled it if he was even a little on the plan, and I'm not sure if he later realized why Assane did it or if he didn't realize at all, I mean the ending twist sets him up as one of the potential backstabbers and it's gonna be really fucking heartbreaking if so, but...man, I don't fault the way everyone reacted to that episode, but I can't get that mad at Assane for what he did.

The heist he did with his mom at the prime minister's mansion complete with jetski escape added another 10 years to our lifespan. Utterly delightful. I love this show so much.

I was a bit iffy on how the prior seasons approached the existence of Arsene Lupin books in-text and I'm still a little mixed on it. However, the sheer reverence and omnipresent popularity of Arsene Lupin the character actually isn't even that unrealistic to the character's real life popularity in France or elsewhere, or how much the show has done to refuel said popularity. I mean, hell, I and others got to see it firsthand Lupin being the talk of the town non-stop. It still takes me a little out of the show, but it's far from a dealbreaker.

Major major leg that this thing has above so many other contemporary reboots/adaptations is that this is FUN, Lupin in general should always get to be fun and more than a little stupid sometimes, and this gets it. This thing delights in carrying us through every step of the process by which the main character does his impressive things, laying out all the components in plain sight and putting them together and even letting you feel smart for realizing how it's coming together and still being surprised when it does.

This is the show that Sherlock wishes it was, because of course Lupin can't make a comeback without putting one over his good old rival Sholmes.

The show was always strong, I think, but every season so far's just been refining things and making all of it's strengths better. It's so so good and I hope it keeps going, this thing does crazy numbers every season, I just never see it talked about much in English circles. I'm glad it's been going strong the way it has. Assane has become one of my favorite protagonists in anything and I might even watch the show again soon.

Still unbelievably good and has only gotten better from what was already a very strong start.

[earthstellar]

Transformers: Lost Media Post!

So, as with any long-running franchise, there are a few bits of Transformers media lost or presumed lost (might exist but has not been publicly released, is in private ownership, was never included in a final cut or broadcast copy, etc).

The Lost Media Wiki has organised some of this lost media into helpful pages, which I will link and summarise here for anyone interested! :)

The Transformers: The Movie (1986) - Missing Scenes

The movie itself obviously isn't lost, but there are scenes from the film that appeared to be fully animated but not included in the final release of the film that have never been located.

At least one scene was fully storyboarded, suggesting it made it far enough into production to possibly have been animated which may have then gone missing as it was never made available as part of any final cut or subsequent release.

[The screenshot above is taken from the YouTube video of the scene, available on the Lost Media Wiki page; The link in the paragraph above goes to the collection of Sunbow Animation storyboard archives, which includes other missing script-only or storyboarded-only sequences from the film during various stages of development.]

Some scenes/shots shown in trailers for the film were at least animated in part but never included in the final version of the film.

G1 Transformers Missing Japanese Clip Show Episodes: 戦え! 超ロボット生命体 トランスフォーマー

11 unique clip show episodes in total were made for the Japanese release of G1, none of which have ever been found.

The content of the clip shows is unknown, only that they re-used animation and possibly scenes left intact from prior/other episodes (it is unclear how exactly they may have been edited or re-dubbed to make a unique clip show episode), and they have never been included on any Japanese regional DVD, VHS, or other official collections of Transformers Japanese language media.

Transformers Victory: Japanese Language Clip Show Episodes

Although the English dub versions of Transformers Victory by Omni Productions have been made available by Shout! Factory, as with the prior G1 missing clip shows, there are 6 unique Japanese broadcast only clip show episodes of this series which have been lost.

There are an additional 6 Japanese only home video/VHS episodes, five of which have been found on the Pioneer DVD releases, but one of which remains missing.

Found Missing Media: Transformers RID - Spychangers to the Rescue

This one is an example of the types of edits made to many animated shows following 9/11, in which many shows featuring anything involving explosions, city settings, planes, the Twin Towers themselves (or references to any of these things or anything similar) were heavily edited to remove any such content, with the originals never getting re-broadcast or re-released.

(Shows that could not be edited, for example shows that entirely took place in New York where backgrounds would constantly show the Twin Towers etc., were never re-aired in most cases, or only re-aired many years later/released on a direct to DVD basis.)

The reason this episode was re-dubbed is because the original plot involved a generator which would explode if impacted and release gas across the city, which may have resembled or otherwise brought to mind the large dust clouds caused by the collapse of the Twin Towers a little too closely for the broadcasters to feel comfortable leaving the original dialogue about gas and explosions intact.

It was changed in an attempt to lessen the emphasis on explosion and potential harm to the city.

The threat of explosion featured as a major concern in the episode also may have resembled the initial belief that perhaps a bomb had gone off in the Twin Towers, before most people realised it was actually a collision from a plane that caused the first visible damage to the first tower-- It took a moment for people to figure out what was actually happening on 9/11. Initial reports assumed it had been a bomb.

Much of the episode also involves the cast getting caught in traffic in and around the city, which may have resembled or evoked thoughts of the notorious difficulties in evacuating/clearing out roads during the immediate aftermath of 9/11 when everyone was, to put it lightly, fucking panicking.

I remember this all very clearly, but I'm explaining this stuff for those of you who may not have clear memories of the day or for those of you who may be from outside the USA and never saw the initial American news broadcasts which were covering all of this live.

Without this context, the edits made to this episode and why this episode was scrutinised so heavily following 9/11 may not make sense! But I hope it makes a little more sense now.

Any of these "pre-9/11 edit" episodes of pretty much any animated series are hard to find, as almost none of the original episodes are available except on personally owned taped versions, many of which are sadly poor quality owing to VHS recorder tech not being super amazing in general.

Thankfully, AnonyTF over on YouTube had a VHS recording of this episode featuring the originally broadcast English dubbed version, so everyone can enjoy it in it's originally intended state!

The Transformers (2007) - Lost IMAX Edition

The IMAX release of the film had some known alterations, edits, and alternate/new scenes added to it.

However, since Michael Bay has said he will never release these IMAX exclusive scenes or release the IMAX cut on any home media, it is safe to say that they do exist in some form, but will not be made publicly available.

Yet another reason to dislike Michael Bay, but I digress.

Conclusion: Lost Media Can Be Found!

Just because these bits and pieces are missing at the moment, doesn't mean we'll never see them, if they do still exist (or in some cases, if they ever did in the first place).

I get the feeling that with the Japanese language missing media, this might partially be a language barrier issue; It'll be harder for any English speaking only fans to find Japanese language only media, same as with trying to find any foreign language media when you don't necessarily speak that language and therefore might also be missing certain regional resources or other context that would help find it otherwise.

(Not to say there aren't Japanese fans also looking for these episodes-- There almost certainly are! But English speaking only nerds might find themselves struggling to aid in the search.)

Plus, other mecha shows were (and generally have been) more popular than Transformers in terms of Japanese broadcast TV ratings. To be fair, Japan has a very broad selection of mecha shows, all of which are pretty good! And it's not like Transformers isn't popular in Japan, it just isn't as popular as quite a few other mecha genre staples which tend to top the charts in that region.

At the time of airing, G1 Transformers had some hot competition in Japan-- It's very possible that if someone only had a couple blank tapes on hand, they may have simply chosen to record something else that they were a little more interested in. (Remember that it wasn't as easy or as cheap to record stuff back then-- Choices had to be made!)

(TakaraTomy, Hasbro's Japanese partner, seems to be very aware of the persistently strong regional competition; Remember the Transformers x Evangelion crossover they made? It's fucking great. And they knew it would have broader appeal as a crossover to Takara's local Japanese audience/figure collectors than just releasing a plain ol' repaint of Optimus Prime. There aren't many mecha shows/franchises in the west, but there sure as hell are in the Japanese media market, so competition remains pretty tough in that region.)

There may not have been as much interest/incentive for Japanese audiences to record these G1/Victory clip shows at the time of original broadcast for various reasons, or if someone did record it, they may not even realise they're sitting on a valuable piece of lost media!

It's also entirely possible that it's all floating around somewhere, and nobody's realised it yet. The original broadcasting networks might have copies in storage that nobody's had to mess with in years. And so on.

There's all kinds of reasons for media, even popular media or niche appeal media with a strong fanbase, to go missing.

But you never know; Stuff can pop up in personal collections, local media archives, library video storage, defunct websites, in broadcast network/studio storage, and all sorts of places!

So I do hope that one day, we do get to see some of the missing Japanese G1/Victory episodes. :)

And it would be cool to get a hold of any of the original movie scenes as well, if any of them were ever fully animated (or saved anywhere, if they were)!

As for the IMAX edition situation, well, that's just Bay being an asshole. At least we know that version of the film does still exist though, even if it's not available publicly! So hey, maybe one day he'll give up and let it be released in some form. Who knows. lol

---

Anyway, this got way longer than I thought it would be-- Mostly because I had to contextualise 9/11 media edits to explain the whole RID episode situation, but hopefully all of that context is helpful and makes the re-dubbing of that episode make a little more sense.

If you read through all of this, thank you as always!!! :) <3

If there are any Japanese TF fans out there reading this, I'd love to hear from you, if you might have any thoughts on the Japanese missing media! :)

I have very little experience with any Japanese Transformers material out there (primarily due to language barrier and lack of access to Japanese releases, in my case), so it would be lovely to speak with fans who have a much better idea of Transformers Japanese media in general.

[mays-corner]

(This post is a bit random so if you get it you get it if you don't get it it's fine)

It's 2024. I should be going to the disco, which I dislike.

Instead, I decided to hyperfixate on a Welshman.

One thing that baffles me to this day, and trust me it has happened more than once, is has anyone ever tried to protest at least a bit to still have Matt as John? Did no one try hard enough? Or have the attempts failed?

I mean-

I'm a newer fan (even with content crumbs I am a fan) still, so I can't be sure, but I'm amazed that in all these years that have passed, no one ever did anything, and now he can't even play Constantine (I think).

And now, the only role I've seen is him dubbing John 💀

Ignoring this discourse about John, I've decided to search for other roles, movies, and series, and what I've found was interesting, to say the least.

I am becoming passionate about him for various reasons. Other than wanting to revive pre-pandemic activities, I have noticed a pattern: I enjoy searching for things that I only watch. These are some thoughts I had about some things I could not find in Italy:

Hard to find (for example, I'm still searching for "The Halcyon," and the funniest thing about this is that in Italy, it was shown on TV (on an RAI channel, RAI is an Italian broadcaster) during 2017 and it's not available on their platform.

Region-locked content (the DCAU being region-locked is such a crime; we only have House of Mystery, and that's it) or even trying to watch a simple cameo when the entire series is region-locked (the Harley Quinn one). However (and this is good news), while searching for Away (one of his movies to watch), I found Tubi and used a free VPN. It was slow, but it worked, and I watched it.

Expensive (I paid Assassin's Creed Black Flag in installments, so that wasn't expensive, but still...)

It was a play, so they haven't recorded it, but to see and better understand the role he played (in this case, read), I read Thérèse Raquin by Émile Zola, and it was still effective.

Not even available on Chili (an Italian streaming platform on which you can rent or buy movies), the title only appears but is not available for streaming (lol).

Using Vinted or secondhand shops in general (it’s not the best time for me to go fully secondhand, but I suppose I could find some things there).

At the moment, I've watched just what I could easily find without resorting to piracy (which is ironic, since in Assassin's Creed Black Flag, Matt voices Edward Kenway, a pirate.).

In this list of things I could easily find, we have:

Constantine (thanks to another fan)

Criminal Minds/Criminal Minds Suspect Behavior (I had Disney Plus for a month, so I've watched it from there)

Flypaper, Adverse (Prime Video)

Arrow (Prime video)

Legends of Tomorrow (Netflix and Mediaset infinity)

House Of Mystery (Amazon prime, you have to rent it but still)

While writing this I found that "Layer cake" is on Sky, which I have and Now TV too.

Pocket Money (While watching it I just understood two words out of an entire short and I'm a c2 in English 💀)

Away, Wild Decembers, Armistice, Blood Monkey

So, you might have been asking yourself... Have I gone mad? To search and find for stuff not even available in my own country? In my own continent, too?

But I thought this is what comes with being a fan of someone, even if the career is what it is.

Considering me being unlucky, I was never able to see Matt when he acted and then had premieres at the same time.

Asssassin’s Creed Black Flag? I was 10, a child, lol.

Legends Of Tomorrow? I liked anime, manga and everything japanese.

And the list goes on...

It's nice to see what was like and what I couldn't live, gosh, I'm praying hard that we get to see him act again, I want and I wish to be present, live or not.

I wanted to make a really nice speech but nothing comes to mind, when I get it maybe I'll post it 💀

[otaku-tyriq]

What ending do you think is worse, BNHA or JJK? Why?

Now that 2 shounen series that I followed for years have ended, it feels kinda weird. And I can't believe that overall, I dislike both endings (but for me, JJK is worse than BNHA, sorry).

Now, from all shounen series, that I love the endings are :

Haikyuu, Fullmetal Alchemist, Soul Eater, Death Note, Attack on Titan, The Morose Mononokean, Pandora Hearts, Bloom into You, Blue Flag, and Smile Down the Runway...

Have you read any of my top 10 fav shounen?

From the above, I think you'll love FMA & Pandora hearts the most..

Oh, FYI, Bloom into You & Blue Flag are LGBT themed and have canon f/f & m/m couples....

Hello Anon!

Unfortunately i have not finished BNHA or JJK as i dropped both these series rather early on. That is just smt that happens for me with most long running shonen series.

I just lack the attention span and dedication for such massive series.

So unfortunately I cannot answer that question as I have not experienced the ending of either BNHA or JJK and it is highly unlikely that I ever will.

Same goes for the other shows and manga you have listed. I have started most of them (Haikyuu, AOT, FMA, Death Note, Morose Mononokean, Pandora Hearts and Soul Eater to be exact) and did enjoy them a lot while watching/reading but I have not finished a single one of them except for Soul Eater as my attention span basically left halfway through. ADHD is a b!tch like that.

I am very sorry if this disappoints you

But to not leave you completely hanging Anon I can tell you the endings of some anime I did watch fully.

👍Endings I enjoyed:

Donten Ni Warau

A 12 episode long anime i watched as a teenager and still hold dear to my heart and genuinely an under appreciated work of art . The ending is nothing spectacular or breath taking but it is SATISFYING and that is the best thing a ending can strive to be.

Mo Dao Zu Shi

I know it is TECHNICALLY a donghua and not an anime but eh. What can I say? I loved the novel and while i personally highly prefer season 1, once again the ending of season 2 is just satisfying and perfectly homosexual despite censorship.

Mob Psycho 100

Anon if you have not yet watched this anime i URGE you to do so. This is one of the VERY FEW anime that managed to keep my attention going for more then one season and it absolutely nailed its ending in one of the most bittersweet ways.

Kaguya-sama: Love is War

Again, one of the VERY few anime that managed to keep my attention span going for more than one season and i honestly blame the glorious english dub for this. (Srsly if there is one anime you should watch dubbed, it’s this one). The ending was not what I had expected when i first got into it but it was just so unbelievably cute i still sometimes go back just to rewatch the ending.

Puella Magi Madoka Magica

I mean what did you want me to say? That i hated the ending of one of the most influential Magical Girl anime of all time? That I hated the gorgeously tragic lovestory of Homura and Madoka? Get real. This shit is peak and has been for a decade now and for good reasons.

Buddy Daddies

Again this anims is kinda underappreciated as I think it has one of the most realistic depictions of what it feels like to raise a Toddler and while the ending happens kinda fast in a 0 to 100 kinda fashion it felt earned in an almost paradoxical way. Like all of these characters deserved and got their happy ending and it was adorable

👎Endings I disliked:

Digimon Adventures 02

As the great german poet Johann Wolfgang von Goethe once said: “What is this Scheiße?” random characters ended up married despite having 0 chemistry throughout the series? Everyone now has kids and just sends them off to the digiworld??? This is like the same sort of mess as the ending of Naruto except Digimon never tortured us with an unwanted Boruto-style Sequel series. Even back as a 10 year old when i watched this series i was massively disappointed by the anime’s last episode.

Sk8 the Infinity

Fuck this. Fuck! This! I LOVED this anime, and I still do but the ending? FUCK THAT! I know this will sound very controversial given Adam has A LOT of fans, but Adam should have gone to jail. That man’s half assed attempt at a “redemption arc” was undeserved. He assaulted several of the main cast, essentially sexually harassed one of the UNDERAGED protagonists and you tell me he got away with ALL OF THAT scot-free? Not to mention the entire story surrounding Adam and that police woman trying to uncover his political corruptness just went???? Fucking??? Nowhere???? If you truly want me to believe this man regrets ANY of the shit he has done then fucking send his ass to jail! Let his political career CRUMBLE! MAKE THIS MENACE TO SOCIET FACE CONSEQUENCES! “Oh b-but he had a terrible childhood 🥺👉👈” I do not care, that does not excuse his actions. I love this abime but thinking about the ending for 0.5 seconds makes me BLOOD BOIL.

[sketching-shark]

What do you think? Did the S4 Special do enough to redeem Wukong in your eyes? Is the Shadowpeach reconciliation believable? I'm on the fence about it.

Monkie Kid spoilers and some grumbling (& edits to said grumbling) below

I haven't actually watched the special anon! Both because I figured I'd wait until the English dub came out and also because I wanted to wait and hear back from people in the fandom who's opinion I trust as to whether it's a good watch or if it's yet another "and here's even more scenes of MK getting traumatized & even more reasons why the Monkey King sucks entire" kind of plot for big chunks of the story. Gotta say though I am feeling kind of wary about everything given that from what admittedly little I heard MK and SWK's relationship had deteriorated to the point where the monkie kid literally asks if the monkey king is a villain and apparently it's now been fully revealed that Macaque never did anything wrong ever and SWK truly was just a selfish jerk that entire time. So. awesome. Really does make SWK's whole treating his apparent bfff forever in the other seasons with either contempt or rage even more heinous!

Fully aware that I'm likely missing a lot of context here and I'm already primed to be leery of the SWK and LEMH drama both because of the whole "that's his evil twin" deal in the og classic (yes yes I know they've veered widely from that but come on why is everyone so hellbent on pretending the true and false monkey king arc doesn't exist) but also because Flying Bark has been dragging it out for so long & honestly to the detriment of like literally every other relationship the monkey king had or has. Honestly it's gotten to the point where I'm really wondering if they decided to write SWK as such a massive failure and in many ways a genuinely terrible teacher so that LEMH could look more benign in comparison even with the stuff he pulled...plus from what I understand we still have no idea why SWK killed LEMH or even if he killed LEMH, and STILL have no idea what happened to the og pilgrims! I hear that this show's trying to do something about how you can't change your past mistakes but you can be better in the future, but that's kind of hard to do when you won't even say what exactly those past mistakes were!

EDIT: so I have since learned that Sun Wukong and Qi Xiaotian apparently spend most of this special together in an actually good way AND that there was some genuine reason given for why the Monkey King did the things he did so still have to see it myself but awesome if true! I suppose the lesson for me here is don't base impressions only on what tumblr tags bring up lmao

[ask-some-bootleg-puppets]

Hello! Welcome to the blog! Before you get asking, please consider reading the rules and meeting the characters and lore a bit!

Rules: No nsfw/suggestive asks! Magic anon asks are allowed (and encouraged!!) but the maximum amount of time a magic anon asks can last is 10!

Lore: During the prime era of Welcome Home's run,some company in China called Happy Hour Company decides to make a cheap knockoff of it. The show's puppets and sets are more cheap, but the most striking part of the show was the suprising amount of violence and character death. Of course after dying, characters would be back the next episode, but the on screen deaths were still pretty shocking. A few months after the release of this show, an even worse English dub was released, with dialogue that sounds like it was made in google translate, and 50% of the show being cut and changed due to the violence! Shortly after this though, the show disapeared off the face of the earth

Info about everyone!!

William: The main character of coming on in, he would often be dragged into chaotic situations by Pogo, which usually led to a death or two, but William would make it out of these situations fully unharmed. He acts naive most of the time

Pogo: Always the one to drag William into trouble. Pogo's a big fan of playing incredibley dangerous pranks on his friends. He can use his tail as a pogo stick (like tigger from Winnie the Pooh). Hes unessisarily violent for practically no reason.

Franklin: ..oh this poor man- Franklin tends to die the most in episodes and certainly has the worst luck out of everyone. Its unclear why. He loves frogs and has many many many pet frogs (which Pogo have been swapping out with poison dart frogs.). Similarly to welcome home, Franklin is in a relationship with Edward, but its never flat out said within the show.

Edward: Everyones favourite milkman who has to witness his partner die basically every day!! Its hard to tell if hes half-cow-half-human or he just really really likes cowprint (His lack of visible ears implies the first option.)

Samantha: Her puppet breaks so often that in every episode of coming on in she looks ever so slightly different. Sam is (usually) always willing to get involved with any antics going on with William and Pogo.

Junie: Way too much energy. Her voice in the english dub is absolutely awful and annoying. Sometimes seen randomly floating, its unknown if this was intentional.

Pansy: The voice of reason and the foodie of the group. Sometimes she tries to convince William not to do stupid things with Pogo but its practically pointless. She tries to stay uninvolved with the chaos, prefering to stay safe in her house and snack.

Hi: Do not laugh at his name. he didnt choose his name to be that. Sometimes his name is Hi and sometimes its Hello due to the bad dubbing. He runs a grocery store that also sells some questionable items (bootleg toys and stuff, sometimes illegal goods). Hes concernly willing to sell William illegal fireworks.

[bettyminicoop]

I've had a lot of work in the last few months and I've almost completely separated from Tumblr. But since Riverdale wakes up from its hibernation and starts biting us as viewers, I have a few quick thoughts.

Of course, I fully expect leaks and spoilers to follow soon. Because the first episodes will be sent for translation and dubbing in other countries. And we all remember that some do not know how to be silent, even if their lives depend on it.

I believe that we still don't have a trailer for one reason - they literally just finished filming and editing these two episodes. I saw on sm that Charles Melton had joined the cast no more than two weeks ago. Probably, his schedule did not allow him to do it earlier. And since this time they have much more time to film the first half of the season, they could afford to shoot some scenes from the first episodes much later. I'm sure Reggie will be in the story since 701.

Camila Mendes indirectly confirmed that in the 50s we will only be in the first half of the season. I can't be 100% sure, but she was pretty vague about it in an old interview.

I'm also sure that they have a plan for the whole season in advance. I don't think The CW would have let them go wild after the failure of season 6. Do you remember one of the producers or some CW director speaking at the investor event? He literally said - "We will fix what is broken." A man who risks his money and business reputation more than Ted.

And never forget - whatever they show in the trailer - it will be cut scenes from only the first three episodes. Maybe even just two. And for Riverdale, these trailers have never been the plot vector for the entire season.

And let ba burn in the fire of the comet forever.

I love you fandom.

And I also apologize for my English. I have not practiced for a long time and Google translator helped me today.

[shreddedleopard]

just wanted to quickly say the biggest ty for tfylim 😭💙 literally so starved out here for cgis content I reread it every week and it still just hits me right in the feels everytime!! you portrayed cgis so so well oml 😭 I would love to hear any headcanons for their relationship post fic if u have any!!

Aww omg Anon you are SO WELCOME, honestly to hear from anyone who enjoys this ship means so much to me 🥹 I’m so happy that you enjoyed it enough to reread, ahh!!

I have so so many thoughts about them post TFYLiM honestly — I had planned to write a bunch of follow up one-shots portraying their journey together through the rest of Blue Lock after this, but I got completely consumed by a new manga accidentally (actually because of the lead character sharing the same anime English dub VA as Chigiri 🤦🏼‍♀️) and have just not had the time to get back to it.

But anyway, let me shut up rambling and share my actual thoughts:

In my head, they never really fully address what happened between them during the break, but it becomes this sort of, typical, ‘okay we both know we really like each other but we are awkward and aren’t exactly sure how to discuss feelings at length and anyway, FOOTBALL!!!’ So it’s sort of like this undercurrent of romantic tension between them both which everyone else is maybe vaguely aware of to varying degrees. For example, Bachira in my head totally knows what’s up, and Kaiser absolutely picks up on it during BM’s match with Manshine and immediately latches on to using Chigiri as a means to wind Isagi up further, which works especially well when Isagi himself is still trying to figure out how to approach his feelings for Chigiri.

Due to the setup of the NEL, they rarely get opportunities to be alone, especially where there are no cameras, but I absolutely think there would be moments in between matches where they manage to snatch time together and the competitive and romantic tension spills over yet again and they maybe have some rushed kissing or awkward fumbles, but there’s never the time or privacy to really talk about it properly.

And in my head, this is how they would continue even into their later professional careers, where it almost settles into this unspoken contract of, football comes first, but god if I was ever going to admit to loving anyone, it would be you.

They snatch time together when they happen to be in the same cities, or for BlueLock reunions, and by this point everyone kinda knows but it’s never mentioned or acknowledged until one day finally, one of them has the courage to ask what are we doing, and the answer for them both is the same: I love you equally as much as I love football, and that actually makes them the perfect match for one another, because it means that the boundaries and the priorities in their lives are clear. I can actually never imagine Chigiri asking Isagi to choose him over his football career, and vis versa, and I think that’s why they really are soulmates. They share a passion which actually is organically their passion, not because of some childhood trauma or because they’re chasing recognition from family members or to distance themselves from family or because another area of their life is lacking or any other secondary reason.

They are just both in love with the game for the sake of playing the game.

That got kinda out of hand but I start talking about them and I can’t stop 🥹 I don’t think BlueLock is really about ships at all (despite the creators teasing us constantly with innuendos and heartfelt moments which could be taken that way) but I do think, realistically speaking, if any two characters had the best basis to be thought of as soulmates, it would Chigiri and Isagi 🥹

This already got so long but since it’s been a good while since I got to yell about these two, here’s a couple of random bits pulled from WIPs for them (can’t remember if I’ve shared these before tho).

Set post BM & Manshine match:

Chigiri and Isagi stealing a moment to practice together in one of the outdoor pitches on the complex, late in the evening, and things naturally become heated, and they’re taken back to their intimate time together during the break:

[bloodsweatandresin]

So, just watched the new netflix “Troll” movie with the lady and as someone who loves a good kaiju flick I am feeling let down and need to get some thoughts out. Spoilers, I suppose, so more under the cut.

First off, watching the English dub with subtitles, so if there was more in the original edit I’d love to hear it.  I just feel like this movie had a lot of setup and plot points that just.... never went anywhere. Like, ok. So a good kaiju is here to be a metaphor for something else. See godzilla and the threat of nuclear war. I feel like this movie was primed so hard to be a metaphor for climate change and it just didn’t really lean into it like it should have. Our protag used the term “Hypernature” multiple times early in the movie and then just dropped it. I felt like this was supposed to be an early harbinger of a revelation later on that the Troll was like.... healing nature or accelerating plant growth where it passed. and if they had done that then some other parts of the movie like the lingering shots of a soldier cutting down a tree to clear fire lines in the first major confrontation with the troll or the random lobbyist/business bro looking guy who had alot of pull with the government for no discernible reason would have made more sense. Also they kept bringing up the “Christianization of Norway” like that was going to be a major plot point. And, I fully admit, I’m American, maybe that means alot more to people from that area and there’s subtext that I’m missing. but they had the Troll be able to smell Christian blood *precisely once* and then it never came up again. maybe if they had done more with it, or tied the arrival of Christianity to the area to the slaughter of the rest of the trolls, it could have been a conversation point about how the expansion of Christianity has lead to alot of other slaughters and problems. Also! The slaughter of the trolls!?? like you drop a plot point like “the current royal palace is built on top of the troll kings castle and the Royal family knows about it” and there’s NO FURTHER EXPLANATION. They say “oh yeah the king at the time killed all the rest of the trolls family, but they kept a kid alive to lure the king away to the mountains. WHAT? Who slaughtered the rest of trolls?? How?? like, the modern military is hitting this guy with missiles and he’s barely flinching. you can’t gloss over that sort of detail. Our Protag is obviously conflicted about whats happening and her hand in the death of what she thinks is the last member of species, but she doesn’t really do much overall to try to stop the dang thing from traipsing into a city, and has a hand in killing it in the end and sorta just shrugs it off? Like you think she’d be more broken up about watching the evidence that her father wasn’t crazy just die in front of her, considering his loss the night before.

[fandom-aleatoire]

I like to think of myself as a passive kind of fan. If you saw me in the real world, you would not be like huh I bet she watches, anime or reads fanfiction.

Will I internally light up if someone talks about one of my favorite things yes. Are my colleagues aware that there are a couple superhero actors that I have major crushes on? Yes, but they think it’s just because I think they’re hot and not anything to do with the character that they play.

I rarely interact with anything other than like 👍🏻 or ❤️. I also understand that just because I like a character doesn’t mean that other people do. There are many of them that are just problematic. Cue uncle angry grape. But Jesus, some people just spew vitriol for characters. Every character has flaws. If nobody had flaws and it would be boring. 

In case you’re not a fan of Horimiya, they have put out a second season, which, I mentally put in quotation marks, that’s essentially all the filler they left out. I loved that anime. While I like the main couple, I could really see myself in two people: Yuki and Sakura. So getting to see, either of them made me pretty happy and since I don’t watch any of that stuff with actual people in real life, I like watching reaction videos to see if other people have the same sort of ideas I do- it’s like watching things together but not.

 I was watching a video, and I was excited to see the reactors opinion on the interaction between those two characters where one of them is helping the other with their cheer routine. Before she comes on the screen, fully, one of the reactors just called her a bitch and calls her a manipulator. (He also insulted her sweater paws. I love my sweater paws. It happens when you’re short and no, they are not dirty.)

I’m guessing that this comes from the fake dating between Tooru and Yuki? Either of them could’ve stopped the fake dating whenever they wanted to. It’s acknowledged that they do have feelings for each other but aren’t ready to actually date date. Did Sakura confess yes, but if the other person doesn’t reciprocate, then they don’t reciprocate. Tooru isn’t the kind of person to hurt the person they want to date because they’re fake dating someone else. Nobody earns a boyfriend either you have feelings for each other or you don’t. It was obvious that this person who made the comments had never been a teenage girl, which I guess could give you the overall make up of the person. (maybe they were trans, but if they’re trans men, then they weren’t a teenage girl because they were a teenage boy.)

We all have characters that other people really like that we find irritating or annoying. For example, lots of people love Goku from Dragon Ball, I do not. I find him a terrible father. But that’s me I’m not gonna go on a video and be nasty and rude talking about him. I might calmly state he is not my cup of tea, and I am glad that he is not my parent but I’m certainly not gonna call him a bastard. Or a deadbeat father. He did what he did for a reason, even if I don’t agree with it.

I’m sure that a lot of people are like me and they just don’t consume the things they don’t like. I tried watching Dr. Stone but they kept saying 10,000,000,000% and it pissed me off so I didn’t watch it but you can check any of my posts on here and see that I’ve never mentioned it before. (I really wanted to like it because I do like English dubs and I really love Tamajiki from my hero.) i’m not going to read anything that’s in the first person or anything that has huge chunks of italics. There’s nothing wrong with either of them. I just don’t like it. I don’t like peanut butter but I understand that most people do. I just don’t eat it so people don’t have to hear me complain about it.

Maybe it just goes back to my mom and said that if you can’t say something nice keep your damn mouth shut. Or it could be that this person looked like they were in their early 20s and I am an actual fax adult or I guess as adult as a millennial can be(maybe that makes me too old for Horimiya.)

If you made it down this far, I am giving you an AO3 kudos!

If the answer is yes, please tell me why. Nicely.

[hellsingmongrel]

Hey, no worries! :V Life gets busy, it's cool!

I'm glad you're enjoying it so far! And yeah, the "He's just a little guy!" energy never fully goes away, he's just always perpetually our little feral baby gremlin man, being terrifying one moment, then the tension breaking with a goofy little moment, and ending with him doing or saying something that shows that even though he's having to he a hardass, he's still just a sweet, kindhearted idiot babyboy. ☺️ Nightow is REALLY GOOD at taking the tense moments and breaking your heart into a million pieces, and then giving you something funny and sweet to make you laugh and remind you that it's not all doom and gloom. He can literally bounce your emotions back and forth like a ping pong ball, the emotional whiplash is DELIGHTFUL in how he uses it, honestly!

Honestly, the action in the manga can ABSOLUTELY be hard to follow sometimes! It does get a bit easier, but it's one of those that becomes clearer the more you reread it. I'm still going back and looking at things and having little moments of "Ohhhhh! This thing here is doing that!" And also it's hilarious to see the times there'll be a character doing something in the foreground, but another character is doing something HILARIOUS in the background, and you may not even catch it at first. One of my favorite run on jokes is Vash doing or saying something, or someone doing or saying something at him, and he's just SO IRRITATED, but if you look behind him, Wolfwood is LOSING HIS SHIT! Just cracking right the Hell up! And Vash can TELL he's doing it, he tries to turn and glare at him once like "Are you LAUGHING at me?!?" But when he does, Nick is just stoic and calm and completely nonchalant. 😆 So yeah, don't worry if the action doesn't make too much sense, especially in the beginning. Nightow got better at showing the action as time went on, and on top of that the art from Trigun to Trigun Maximum made a massive jump in quality, too, so you're also gonna have some just BEAUTIFUL pages. Vash's big, fluttery god-damn eyelashes are a TREASURE!

Also, oh man, I would recommend doing the free crunchyroll trial JUST so you could watch the dubs and then cancel it if you couldn't keep paying for it! There is a reason Johnny's voice work for Vash is so quintessential! And CR has both the new series, the original, AND it's got badlands rumble, I think, too! And all of them have Johnny doing Vash's voice in the English stuff, it's the literal best thing ever! Not saying the Japanese subbed version is bad, it's not, it's just that Johnny will always be Vash to so many people, we can't NOT recommend the dubs highly enough! But back to what you were saying, holy shit yeah, having to watch ep 11 because of subs made it SO MUCH WORSE! When I finally watched the dub later, I was able to cover my face for the part that really upset me earlier and could tell when it was safe to come out of my hoodie again because of the sound. HEARING Vash struggling and...the knives, and the sound of his voice hiccuping when he got stabbed, JFKAHFKR It was bad enough, I couldn't deal with seeing it at the same time. It really does make you feel sick, huh? If I'd been in Meryl's place, I very possibly would have been actually physically ill, having to see it! 8'<

I will not confirm nor deny Nai being alive in later parts, though he IS pretty important to the story, so make of that what you will. 😆 But yeah, honestly, in the manga it comes down to Vash just being better at reading when it's worth it to try and talk someone down, or when he knows he has to just put them out of commission to stop the violence. There are times when he still tries to talk people down, even while he's running in guns blazing, but often he doesn't really get much chance to do it. And yeah, in later parts, Vash reaches a point where he almost just seems to stop thinking and let instinct take over. He's almost "lights are on but nobody's home," and he's driven to points a couple of times where he's literally catatonic, but screaming and acting on pure protective instinct. He's such a sweet, kind soul, but there's a part of him that he keeps hidden that's just pure instinct, pure injured-cornered-animal-protecting-its-babies. It's so sad, so terrifying, but Nightow also makes it weirdly beautiful, too?

Though the time it's REALLY scary is when he's in full ass fluffy predator animal mode, but CONSCIOUS. like. It's SO CREEPY, it's still Vash underneath the feathers, but it's just UNHINGED and weirdly calm and menacing and like...you can imagine him being like a massive, twitchy, disjointed, SENTIENT bird of prey that's protecting its mate, bending his body at weird angles to shield someone from bullets while twisting his head around to glare at them attackers over his shoulder. It's actual horror-movie nightmare fuel imagery, and the entire fandom pretty much agrees that it's fucking AMAZING and we're all both terrified AND turned on by it. 😆😆😆 Even those of us who are ACE. So really, SERIOUSLY, episode 12 Vash was intense, but he was nowhere near as Eldritch Horror as he can be, and I am SO GOD-DAMNED EXCITED to see them tackle it in the upcoming seasons!

At the very least, he seems to be aware enough most of the time that the feathers themselves don't cause him any distress,except for the first time they do something he never knew he could do, at which point, he just STARES. WHILE HIS BODY IS DOING THIS THING. Doesn't move, just stares, until the moment passes and he has to act again. But yeah, people react poorly to it, they're scared of him, and it makes what, if he was healthy enough mentally and had a calm enough life that he could have learned to do it naturally, would probably be a really beautiful part of him seem monstrous and terrifying and deadly, and people panic and lash out. Which, obviously, does not make him views on himself any better, by any stretch of the imagination. He deserves people who would pet his feathers and talk softly to him until he's settled and calmed and happy, not what he gets, and it's sad. q_q

Honestly, he DOES go through so much more trauma in the manga, it gets SO PAINFUL, but you'll love him even more when you're done with it. And Stampede honestly matches the tone of the manga so well, I suspect that they're going to carry those severely traumatizing things into the series, so you're just preparing yourself for when we get to see it in action! XD I definitely suspect that next season, Vash is going to be a lot harder, less timid, he's going to have realized he has to stop being so soft.

Hey besties I have a question

Do I read the manga or watch the anime of trigun first? I wanted to read the manga first but the only way I know to access it is through the trigun manga overhaul account here on tumblr but i don’t like downloading stuff from random people on the internet

So if you say manga first, is that tumblr account a good and safe way to access it online or is there a better place?

[shihalyfie]

Hi! I love your write-ups! It genuinely helped me appreciate 02 so much more (it was already a favourite of mine but now I know it's more than just nostalgia) That said I want to ask if you can explain why the fanbase likes to glorify Takeru and Hikari so much? As in saying Takeru deserves to be the leader more than Daisuke, or that Takeru and Hikari should have jogressed instead of what we got, or even depicting that the two weren't that close to the new Chosen Children in some fics

Hello! Thank you so much for the kind words! I'm always glad to hear that I've gotten someone to appreciate 02 more. In regards to your question, this is a bit of a multilayered issue that has reasons that vary from benign to insidious (for lack of a better way to put it), so I'm going to go through some of the reasons I can think of.

Firstly, it is true that Takeru and Hikari are in a bit of a special position in that they're the only kids to be both Adventure and 02 kids, and that knowledge/experience gap does inform a bit of their behavior towards the others, especially in the first half of 02. The two did have a tendency to kind of go off and do their own thing without being completely straightforward to the others about what they were doing (most notably in episodes like 13, 17, 22, 24, and 30). On top of that, the series did initially seem to depict Takeru and Hikari as close to each other all the time, and Miyako and Iori were one of the first relationships showcased in the series -- so it's easy to fall into a line of thinking that those should have been the natural Jogress pairs, and that Miyako and Hikari got forced because they're girls and Takeru and Iori are "spares". This especially happens a lot with people who are more casual watchers of 02, because you have to read more between the lines to figure out that Jogress isn’t about pre-existing relationships, but about addressing what the other party needs the most and actively working for it. In actuality, Takeru and Hikari mostly dropped the habit of walking off on the other 02 kids once Iori and Miyako started reaching out to them, but you might not notice this unless you’re counting episodes, and it’s not like they don’t clearly still have a particularly good relationship with each other even after that.

Secondly, in regards to Daisuke, unfortunately, he carries a lot of fanbase stigma because 1) his American English dub characterization singlehandedly ruined him for a lot of people and 2) even that aside, because he’s characterized as someone with a very simple pattern of thinking and simple needs, a lot of the fanbase (possibly even a majority of it) still claims he never got character development or depth whatsoever. (In actuality, I find him to be one of the most multilayered members of the entire cast.) The end result is that a lot of people consider Daisuke to be a reckless idiot who only got the leader position because of shounen character archetype benefits. By this logic, Takeru, who has experience from the previous adventure in 1999 and is more level-headed, should have been the leader instead. In practice, though, the series makes it clear that Daisuke’s forward-thinking attitude is what pushes everyone forward (I would argue that he’s not actually the leader, but in the sense that the 02 group doesn’t really have one), and if you ask me, I personally think having Takeru as the leader in the first half of 02 would have likely ended badly; he may seem level-headed, but he was (usually) non-confrontational and prone to dodging emotionally uncomfortable subjects to the point I feel the position might have overwhelmed him.

Thirdly, a lot of Adventure fans who like Takeru and Hikari often don’t actually like 02 very much. Even if they don’t fully despise it, there’s a certain camp of Adventure diehards that kind of “tolerates” 02 as a weird sequel that’s mainly just useful for seeing more of the Adventure kids (and while most Takeru/Hikari shippers are usually 02 fans, there’s still a group that tolerates 02 as “the series where they became shippable age” and functionally only cares about Adventure in practice). One easy way to tell if someone is in this camp is that if you float to them the idea that Takeru and Hikari are actually closer to the other 02 kids than they are their Adventure seniors, most people who are reasonably invested in both series will at least be willing to consider it, but to that particular set of Adventure diehards that only tolerates 02 in practice, they’ll act like you just said a heathen statement (mostly because you’re threatening the romantic image of the “Adventure eight” in favor of the sequel characters they don’t care for as much). As I said above, it’s already easy to get the idea there’s a mild barrier between the two of them and the rest even just by being a casual viewer, but this camp loves to completely latch onto this and exaggerate it to the point of claiming that they were never that close to the others at all (even though 02 itself blatantly shows otherwise), and that they were tolerating the other four as much as they themselves are tolerating 02.

In regards to that last point, I do think tri. exacerbated the situation as well. I’m willing to believe that the tri. staff didn’t actively intend to make their series be inherently anti-02, but it is true that anti-02 Adventure fans were extremely validated by the franchise treating it like it was ignorable, and also latched onto Takeru and Hikari’s flippant behavior towards the concept of the other four as proof that this was the way it was the whole time. It was really not a fun time to be a 02 fan between 2014 and 2019, because it felt like you were basically being gaslighted into believing 02 didn’t exist the way you remembered it. On the flip side, I’ve spoken to multiple 02 fans who, despite knowing consciously that 02 didn’t portray them that way, still viscerally felt something akin to a backstab at the sight of Takeru and Hikari treating the others like that on screen, and thus couldn’t shake very mixed feelings towards them afterwards. The end result was that this supposed rift started showing up with unusual frequency in fanwork, both from the ends of anti-02 fans making fanwork that portrayed the rift as if it’d always been there, and from 02 fans with mixed feelings on the entire situation putting out work with unusual extra emphasis on the quartet (in a sort of “defiant overcompensation” for their treatment in tri.) in ways that often omitted Takeru and Hikari more often than they would have been otherwise.

Even I have to personally admit that, while I’d rewatched 02 in mid-2020 and confirmed definitively for myself that they were portrayed as close with the others, the fallout from tri. meant I was still personally grappling with an indescribable mixed feeling regarding Takeru and Hikari’s place in the group, one that wasn't fully cleared until the Kizuna drama CD was released later that year (Kizuna itself focused on the quartet for similar obvious “overcompensation” reasons, so it wasn’t until the drama CD that we got an explicit, open portrayal of them as a close six-way group). That drama CD slammed its foot down on the idea that yes, all six of them are close, and this is not up for debate. I've also spoken with someone who was a hardcore Takeru/Daisuke shipper, fell out with the ship after feeling tri. had poisoned it for them, and got really back into it once Kizuna started portraying them normally again. So I’m hoping that this part of the issue can clear up a little with Kizuna and The Beginning, because although I do still see the occasional person insisting that they weren’t/aren’t close, it’s much harder to make that argument when newer material is so obviously showing otherwise.

[earthstellar]

Just so you all know, France got a special French language album released for the original Transformers movie, and honestly, it kicks ass. Very 80s disco.

This seems to be a unique Transformers album, in that most if not all of the tracks are completely original to the French promotion/release of the film, and don’t seem to sample any audio from any other Transformers music produced and released elsewhere. 

The track linked above is “Transformers pour un monde meilleur”, and honestly, it’s an incredibly good track! 

I’m unsure if this track was used in the film (perhaps credits) at any point, or if it was used in any TV materials (either the series itself post-movie release), or if it may have been part of an advertising campaign or other promotion. 

Either way, it’s rare to see an international release with 100% locally produced original content for a show in the 1980s! 

Especially as it seems most other international translations of Transformers (aside from the Japanese version, for obvious reasons) generally kept the USA release tracks/albums, albeit sometimes with lyrics removed (turning some songs into instrumental only tracks) or sometimes with translated lyrics being performed by a singer cast by the localisation/translation teams of various respective countries. 

If you are someone who grew up with the French language media for Transformers, I would be interested to know how this album was utilised in TF media in France! 

Interestingly, other French speaking nations (or even primarily French speaking regions of certain nations such as Belgium) do not seem to have had this French TF album released, as far as I can tell. So this album may have been 100% unique solely to France! 

EDIT: Although this perhaps isn’t surprising, as my favourite part about the French version of the movie is that they made Starscream female.

This is presumed to be because they were not provided with many translation notes (according to what I’ve heard, which also seems supported by the TF Wiki notes on the French version) and they assumed the high pitched English language voice meant Starscream was female:

“In the French dub of The Transformers: The Movie (but not in the TV series), both Starscream and Shrapnel were referred to as female, with Megatron calling Starscream "une imbecile" at one point (French articles are gendered), and Shrapnel referred to as "Mademoiselle". The reason for this gender-switch was never fully explained, though it is possible that Starscream's and Shrapnel's rather high-pitched voices were mistaken for women's voices.” - TF Wiki

YOU CAN LISTEN TO THE OFFICIALLY FEMALE FRENCH STARSCREAM HERE. 

Honestly? I fucking love the French Starscream. She’s amazing. 

I’d love to know more about the French language TF dub, especially the original movie, because it seems to have an all around somewhat unique take on everything-- And I wonder why, as many other national/regional dubs don’t have quite the wide range of unique content! 

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Let's Talk About That Black Butler Live Action Movie That Came Out In 2014

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/147Tq36dpUkPMP6KFBuK4B4R4skpA3Msx

I recently watched the Black Butler live action movie and then I spent 4 days making an english subtitle file for the german dub (which is you can both download from the drive I made) so I made a lot of…. Observations about it that I would like to share.

Before that, Id like to apologize for any mistakes I made in my translation and Im sorry, but I will not be correcting them because Im never watching this stupid movie again. Its bad. Its a fun bad, but if youre like me and you like translating stuff and you wanna make subtitles for a movie please for the love of god pick a movie thats like, good or atleast tolerable to watch more than once in one week.

I'm gonna start off with some non-spoilery stuff and then I'll break down the entire movie in excruciating detail under the cut because there is A Lot. Like with basically all of my long posts, sorry if this gets rambly

The movie takes place in modern times, rather than the 19th century. In fact, the times are so modern that this movie takes place in 2021 even though it came out in 2014. We follow some guy whose name I somehow keep forgetting even after making those subtitle files, it mightve been Kyoharu?? His last name is Genpo and I remember his deadname being Shiori bc thats what all the summaries insist on calling him. Im just gonna call him not!Ciel for simplicities sake. The Genpos are descendants of the Phantomhives, who decided to settle in Japan (or 'The East') at some indeterminate point in the past and are now working as watchdogs for the Queen of Japan (or 'The East') rather than the Queen of England (or 'The West'). Not!Ciel is 17 and his backstory is basically his Book Of Circus anime backstory of him watching his parents get shot in their own manor, minus the human trafficking and the nonce who had a weird obsession with him. He made a contract with Sebastian, who is still more or less the same, shortly after his parents got shot and has just kinda been doing his thing for the past like, 10 years, being the Watchdog, running his company with the help of his aunt.

The actual plot of the movie kicks off when not!Ciel receives an order from the Queen to investigate the 'Devil's Curse', a series of deaths where the victims were "mummified" alive (their bodies started rotting while they were still fully alive and stopped functioning after less than an hour, idk why they say they were mummified). Then the rest of the movie is essentially just that investigation and then they stop a terrorist attack at the very end

Before I talk about my actual thoughts on the way this plot was executed, I want to talk a bit about anime adaptations in general, so Im going to go on a small tangent about the Death Note Adaptations since I watched the 2017 Netflix movie and the two Nippon Television movies from the 2000s for the sake of comparing them to this one.

The Netflix movie is bad, we all know its bad, I dont need to tell you that its bad. And like, there are a lot of things that make it bad, but if you asked me to describe why its that bad in one sentence it would be: The writers had bad ideas that wouldnt make for a particularly good adaptation to begin with and then also executed them poorly. If you then asked me about any other issues, Id say that the writers clearly just, didnt understand the source material and what makes it good.

I would describe the Nippon Television movies as the opposite of that: the writers thought of good ways to streamline the story into something more fitting for two 2-hour movies and then executed those pretty well.

The Black Butler movie is kind of a weird middle ground between those two while still being about as bad as the Netflix movie. Like, its clear to me that the filmmakers understood a lot of what makes the anime and manga good but then they still made all of these weird, baffling changes for no reason?? And also, basically none of them were well executed. 

(Also, idk where to put this but Light's girlfriend's name from the movie is Shiori, which is also not!Ciel's deadname, I thought that was a weird coincidence)

I'll talk about that in more detail when I get into spoilers and stuff though, for now I'd like to talk about the other more 'superficial' non-story stuff (which is also most of what I genuinely liked lol)

The acting is uhhhhhh weird. I will say that Im really bad at judging performances like this and Ive also only watched the german dub (and german dubs of Live Action Stuff tend to have kind of a weird uncanny fake feel to them because its incredibly clear that the words arent coming out of the actors mouths), but it doesnt seem great. I couldnt help but feel like the german VAs were actually doing a better job than the japanese actors at times. Like, it felt like the actual acting was kinda stiff (particularly for not!Ciel and Sebastian, although I have some other issues with his actor as well) but the german voice acting is very idk, emotional?? I have no idea how to describe it properly but it feels like the VAs were putting more emotions into it than the actors, again, particularly not!Ciel and Sebastian. The only actress that I didnt notice having this issue was the one playing not!Ciels aunt (whos basically like the budget version of Madame Red), although she was still unfortunately plagued by all the German Dub Issues, so yea

The biggest saving grace in all of this is Bernhard Völger, who voices Sebastian. He gives the exact same performance here as he does in the anime, which means that I like it so much that I actually thought "hm, this movie wouldnt have been so bad if they just animated it" when I first watched it. Basically my only complaint is that Im pretty sure he never says "Jawohl, mein junger Herr" which is ESSENTIAL. Like, idk about other dubs, but imagine Sebastian never going "Yes, Mylord" in a BLACK BUTLER ADAPTATION. disgraceful

Anyway, while I really enjoyed Sebastians voice, the same cannot be said for the actor. Honestly, I couldnt even tell you if the actual acting is that good or that bad because I just hated looking at the actors face. I dont even know why, its not like hes ugly or anything, but theres something wrong with it. its like if Tommy Wiseau was conventionally attractive. His mannerisms were fine i guess?? Idk, I was doing my best not to look at the movie anytime he was onscreen. Also, why is his hair like that?? Nothing more to say, I just hate it. I also dont like his eyes, they look weird and wrong. Its pretty obvious to me that they didnt use a lot of CGI for this movie (which I actually like, the practical effects were pretty good for the most part, although its clear that they didnt have the biggest budget), so they just had him wear contacts but. they really shouldve touched them up in post, because they look more brown than red, even in close ups n shit. Which wouldve been fine I guess, but its like, a weird, fucked up and evil brown that Ive never seen as an eye color and it just makes him look so much more uncanny. I suppose thats kinda fitting for a demon, but its still really ugly to look at.

Speaking of eyes, while I liked the effects for the most part, not!Ciels Contract Seal Eye was really underwhelming. Like, I get that they couldnt have made it as striking as in the manga/anime bc Actual Human Eyes dont take up a third of the average human face, but. its literally just blue. You can kinda see the contract seal during close ups, but its so faint and its so lame and disappointing and I hate it. They shouldve straight up made it purple, maybe make it glow too, idk man anything to make it look magical/demonic/whatever

Also, this is such an insanely minor thing, but I HATE how they didnt use the anime music for the opening and ending credits. I get it, Monochrome no Kiss is too upbeat for this Gritty Live Action Not-An-Anime-Black-Comedy Shit™, but if theres one thing Ive learned from listening to Youtube Fancovers, its that any song can sound Moody and Dark if you make it a Piano Cover, so yeah. And there was LITERALLY no reason for them to not use Lacrimosa for the ending like cmon. Instead all we got was this stupid generic love song about kissing at twilight or some shit idk man (I mean, I guess thats atleast fitting but man-) 

That being said, I did enjoy the score. I dont usually pay attention to the music in movies, but I kinda did here and Im glad to say that its bc it was good. One moment that particularly stood out to me was this small bit right before the climax kicks in where they have this fancy violin music mixed with this electric synth-kinda music and its just so good, it feels like thats the exact vibe they wanted to have for this adaptation and they just. couldnt capture it. But atleast the music is good, so whatever ig

Thats basically all of the non-spoilery stuff, if theres anything else I'll talk about it during my extensive breakdown of this movie now anyway, so yeah. What Im gonna do now is watch the movie again to check over my subtitles and then describe what happens to you and also write all of my thoughts down here, kinda like a liveblog but more detailed and (hopefully) more coherent. Let us begin.

After the logos, we're starting off strong with some good old White Text On Black Screen Exposition. The first sentence of the movie is "The world was divided into West and East" which is. more funny to me than it should be. Okay so, they do a really bad job at actually explaining this and I had to figure this out via a summary that I randomly stumbled upon when I downloaded this movie, but this movie takes place in 2021 in some kind of alternate universe where, instead of like, the individual continents (and countries? questionmark?) we have in the modern day we have like, the Western Coalition (which is led by a Queen) and the Eastern Coalition (which is led by a different Queen). So thats what theyre talking about here

As we continue with our Black Screen Exposition, they attempt to explain what I just explained, but they never ever specify that this movie takes place in The Modern Day first, so while it makes some sense upon rewatch, its really weird and confusing when youre watching it for the first time. Like, the first movie summary I found did not mention the fact that it would be set in 2020, so I naturally assumed that it would take place in Victorian Times, so when they explain that the Western Nations are led by a queen and that the Eastern Nations are their opposition, I was just kinda like, "Ah yes, we got typical Victorian Era xenophobia/orientalism bullshit right out of the gate, nothing out of the ordinary here", yknow? I was sitting there, thinking "why are these jokers explaining real life political tensions to me like theyre made up fantasy worldbuilding"

Then they explain what the Queen's Watchdogs are and what they do and its like, whatever. I dont like the definition they give here, but Im not gonna into everything that bothers me, otherwise we'll end up with a 100k words long post. Not that it matters, bc not!Ciel basically does the same shit OG!Ciel does anyway: every once in a while, he gets a letter from the Queen thats like "Boy, theres some weird shit going on. Investigate" and then he investigates the weird shit (with his demon ofc)

We fade to a random car radio telling us about how another mummified body has been found in the commercial district. I kinda already talked about how I dont like that they call those "mummified bodies" or "mummies" because Im pretty sure thats not, what mummies are?? But that might just be a german dub thing, so whatever. We also find out that Western Governments have offered their support for investigating these weird deaths, while the Ministry of State Security has yet to make any kind of statement.

Then we start zooming out of the car until we can see a big metropolis in the background and then some text saying "An Eastern Nation" fades in and its so funny. Like, even when you know the weird worldbuilding of this movie, it feels like theyre just being vague for no fucking reason. Its like they made this whole ass movie and then just as they were about to release it some producer stormed in like "NO. GET RID OF ALL THE REFERENCES TO ACTUAL COUNTRIES WE CANT LET PEOPLE KNOW THIS TAKES PLACE IN JAPAN (even though it very obviously takes place in japan)"

Anyway, cut to a dark and rainy street where someone almost gets hit by a car. The guy who almost got hit decides to idk, check on the person inside?? Maybe chastise them?? Either way, it turns out that *gasp* a 'mummy' was driving that car?!!?!? After that little jumpscare, we get to see inside the car and watch a guy's flesh rotting while hes still alive and screaming in terror. We cut to a card on a bloody handkerchief with a spooky image of the devil and a pentagram on it. The screen turns gray scale and white text informs us that the Queen is ordering "someone" to investigate the Strange Mummification Serial Murders.

Smash Cut to the inside of a sketchy warehouse where a bunch of grown men are stuffing a bunch of girls into crates. This is where we meet our boy not!Ciel (whose actual name is Kiyoharu, but its not like that matters), who informs us that those guys cant be human traffickers bc theyre handling their "goods" to roughly and wonders what they need the girls for then via voice over. Not that he'd know that much about this kinda stuff, since they decided not to make human trafficking part of his backstory for some reason.

Hes currently disguised as a girl, but the audience doesnt know that yet and we also dont know his name and also all the summaries call him Shiori and. I'll address the thing with not!Ciel's gender in more detail later, for now I'll just say hes a trans guy and leave it at that

Anyway, the ring leader comes up to him and slaps him around a bit, before asking him who he is and how he managed to get his hands on some incriminating photos. Not!Ciel points out that all the people who turned into mummies were in contact with this guy and asks him about an envelope that appears in all of the pictures. The mafia-esque ring leader guy kicks him in the face instead of answering because of course. Cut to the outside of the warehouse where we get to see a ~Menacing Shadowey Man~ approaching. Its ya boi, Sebastian, entering with Ominous Booming Footsteps babeyyyyyyy

Sebastian introduces himself as belonging to the House of Genpo, our bargain bin Phantomhives for this movie, and we get a really awful close-up of his horrible uncanny brownish eyes before dramatically pulling a butterknife out of his tailcoat. The mafia goons dont know that theyre in a Black Butler movie so, of course, they laugh at him bc this is absolutely hilarious (and its not even the funniest part of this!). 

When one of them pulls a gun at him and just kinda stands there instead of shooting him right away, not!Ciel orders him to kill them. We zoom in on Sebastian's face while he says "Sehr wohl" ["Very well"] and NOT "Jawohl, mein junger Herr" ["Yes, my Young Master"] and i swear to fucking god the fact that he never says it is gonna drive me insane literally why would you bring Bernhard Völger into this if he wasn't gonna sAY IT

Anyway, cue the Action Scene. There are a couple of those in this movie and theyre pretty Sebastian-heavy, so I did my best to not look at the screen which means that I can't actually say much about them. I can tell you that this first one where he kills all these goons with his little knife is absolutely hilarious to me for some reason (probably bc of the actors face, sorry that I keep pointing it out).

The whole thing ends with him doing some bullshit that makes some explosives go off and set the warehouse on fire but not actually damage it.

Obviously the ring leader guy starts freaking tf out and yelling at Sebastian who taunts him for a bit. yknow how it goes, the guy threatens to shoot not!Ciel, Sebastian drops his butter knife and then promptly gets shot himself. Uh oh.

Not!Ciel makes a comment about how he calls Sebastian like a dog which is. okay, so, its heavily implied that the actual Ciel Phantomhive still existed in this timeline AND that Sebastian was still his butler. Does not!Ciel have the same dead-dog-he-named-his-demon-butler-after-thing?? Did he just say that to seem edgy and cool?? Who knows idk why this stuck out to me like this

Moving on, the ring leader guy takes not!Ciel's eyepatch off, talks about how he'll sell him at a high price and asks him about the incriminating pictures again. Not!Ciel, who has been completely unfazed all this time btw, ignores him and calls out to Sebastian. Sebastian lets the guy threaten not!Ciel one more time before rising up from the ground and coughing up the bullet along with some blood, like some fucked up hairball. 

At this point, I'd like to mention that I appreciate the fact that Sebastian can still bleed bc I feel like supernatural hot guys just dont, do that nowadays?? Do you know what I mean?? Like, maybe I just need to consume better and more diverse media lol but I feel like a lot of these Hot Guy But He's Actually Some Fucked Up But Still Hot (And Humanoid) Creature are just. fully invincible now (which is something I 100% blame on Twilight btw). And its so frustrating bc its like, WHAT. IS THE POINT. OF HAVING AN IMMORTAL HOT GUY BE TOTALLY DEVOTED TO ME. IF HE CANT EVEN BLEED FOR ME

Anyway, I just went on a long ass tangent, lets move on.

The mafia guy starts freaking out bc why wouldnt he, while Sebastian and not!Ciel start bickering in the foreground. 

Sebastian's all like "Oh~ it appears that the coat my young master provided has gotten…. dirty" and not!Ciel goes "Yea, cuz you keep fucking around you stupid idiot" wonderful. Also, Sebastian Fucking Around is gonna be kind of A Thing in this movie and its gonna stress me tf out. I mean, yeah, Sebastian fucks around plenty in the manga as well but. Idk it just stresses me out when he does it here for some reason?? Or, well, this particular scene actually didnt stress me out at all when I watched it the first time, but it does upon rewatches, this shit makes me lose my mind. I think it might be bc I have a decent grasp and Ciel and Sebastian's relationship in the manga and I know that Sebastian… well, idk if he cares about Ciel, but he's gonna do his best to not let him get seriously injured. 

But I have to watch this fhvking scene here fully knowing that later on, not!Ciel is gonna get shot and this joker is gonna do FUCK ALL about it, like, ATLEAST TRY AND STOP THE BLEEDING YOU ASSHOLE and. oh god. And then not!Ciel will order Sebastian to kill the person who shot him, but she has this body guard guy who stops him somehow so then Sebastian fights this random ass guy instead of just. following his orders and barely even pays attention to not!Ciel while his life is STILL IN DANGER only to then demonstrate, that its actually incredibly easy for him to just kill the bodyguard guy, like. WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ANY OF THAT

Ugh. But we'll get there when we get there. Before we move on, I did want to say that I do kinda enjoy Sebastian being a little shit in this. Like, I dont give a fuck about not!Ciel, hes lame and stupid, so Sebastian doing shit like this is pretty funny to me when its not, yknow, making my blood pressure spike

Anyway, Sebastian responds to not!Ciel being like "yea cuz you keep fucking around, stupid" by saying "I did what was necessary. Just as you have ordered me to."

This is actually a very subtle setup to some stuff thats gonna be important later. Its stupid bullshit, but I do appreciate the fact that they have the decency to atleast have a setup and a payoff for their stupid bullshit, yknow

Mafia Guy tries to shoot Sebastian who just kinda shrugs it off in favor of telling not!Ciel that he "took pleasure in watching him for a while" and that seeing him being "pitiful and unbearable" while being all tied up is wonderful and that "being so fragile and helpless suits him excellently". Idk if I mentioned this already, but not!Ciel is 17 which makes it. slightly less bad than it could be.

Not!Ciel calls him a cretin, which is already funny in concept, and the fact that its german and he pronounces it kinda like 'crouton' makes it even more funny.

The guy stops trying to shoot Sebastian, who's been slowly menacingly walking towards him btw, since Thats Not Working At All and threatens to shoot not!Ciel again instead. 

Sebastian's smiling like a little shit, asking not!Ciel like "Well :) What do you want me to do >:)", whos not having any of it because these restraints hurt, dammit! but Sebastian just keeps going like "Well :) If I come any closer this guy will kill you >:) Young Master <3" like. ughhhhhhhh Im gonna lose my fucking patience with this guy. Not!Ciel calls him a bastard and accuses him of going against their contract and then Sebastian explains the terms of their contract to the audience with the most shit-eating grin while the mafia guy is just losing his mind in the background and theyre just completely ignoring him.

We also get some stuff about how Sebastian cant eat his soul if he dies in some other way, meaning, if Sebastian isnt the one to kill him, hes just gonna die normally and Sebastian is just gonna. not have something to eat ig. This is kinda gonna be semi-important later and I forgot if this was A Thing in the manga, so Im pointing it out.

Not!Ciel loses the last of his patience and starts getting louder and Sebastian just interrupts him by going "Young Master. … You know exactly.. which words you should use" and. its kinda hard to describe what the vibe is, but if you watch you'll probably see why I thought this was worth mentioning (didnt I say I wasnt gonna get into that much detail earlier-)

Anyway, not!Ciel orders him to save him, we get another awful close up of Sebastian's fucked up eyes, Mafia Guy tries to shoot not!Ciel but Sebastian catches the bullet (?), twists his arm and takes the gun away from him. 

The guy offers to pay him ten times as much as not!Ciel, to which Sebastian is all like "Ah, but Ive no interest in these trivial huuuuuuuman things, for I am simply One Hell Of A Butler™"

Not!Ciel asks him about the envelopes again while Sebastian threatens him with a gun. He doesnt answer and just tells them that they'll go to hell very soon, like ohohohoohohooh how ironic…….. I suppose. 

So yeah, he gets shot dead and not!Ciel goes all emo on us for a moment like "Ive already seen hell". 

Throughout all of this you could kinda see these other girls who've also been kidnapped (and who witnessed all of that shit) in the background, occasionally reacting to stuff. One of them inexplicably has this cross and starts praying bc thats what ya do ig and not!Ciel just goes from Emo to Edgy Atheist in like 5 seconds and tells her that there is no god, that praying won't help her bc no one is coming to save her

Sebastian and not!Ciel go to leave but before that, we get some really baffling, hard-to-describe editing as not!Ciel takes off the wig he's been wearing. 

They walk out of the building, which has been on fire this whole time in case you forgot, like the Cool Guys they are. Cut to the… Opening Credits?? Idk what you would call this Sequence exactly but whatever

We get some weird, but kinda neat visuals here, interspersed with these little flashbacks of not!Ciel's traumatic past that will get elaborated upon later. Also, Sebastian is wearing like, a black robe in this?? Presumably to represent his demonic form, kinda like they did it in the musicals ig but. this is a movie. They don't have the limitations of a stage production, even if their budget isnt that great, they could've just shown little glimpses of his demonic form like in the manga. Yknow, his eyes w/ the slit pupils, his claws, his…. high heels. One of my favorite little moments/panels was during the whole Manor Murder Arc when theyre searching Sebastian's room and Ciel explains that he doesnt ask about his past and he doesn't care, bc he wouldve taken anyone willing to work for him at the time, and they show Sebastian wiping away one of Ciel's tears and/or putting the contract seal in his eye with one of his fucked up little claws, like !! they should've done that!! But whatever,

Anyway, the title screen rolls and then we cut to not!Ciel waking up from what is presumably a nightmare. Then we get some exposition via Sebastian Voiceover, while we get some establishing shots of the manor and him walking around. He interacts with Rin, our bargain bin Mey-Rin, and mentally roasts her for a bit. Tanaka is also there and Sebastian introduces him by saying smth like "This is Tanaka, the steward. There is lemonade in his tea cup." ???? nothing else to say really Im just confused

ALSO Bard and Finnian arent there :( disgraceful.

Moving on from that, we cut to Sebastian helping not!Ciel with his morning routine n all that shit. This is where we find out that his name is Kiyoharu, not that it matters, that he runs the Funtom Company, that he's a Watchdog of the Queen and that he's 17. 

We also get to see that scar on his back from when he was…. not human trafficked, bc that doesnt seem to be part of his backstory. I guess he just got branded by the people who shot his parents for no reason?? Idk they wouldve probably expanded on this in a sequel, but we dont have a sequel, so. yea

I also wanted to mention that not!Ciel appears to bind his chest using bandages, which Ive heard is a really unsafe way to bind, but that's honestly the least of his problems. 

While not!Ciel is getting ready, Sebastian asks him if he had a nightmare, he goes "Yeah, same one as always, whatever". There's a small pause before Sebastian says "Man, wouldnt it be nice if I could stay by your side in your dreams as well" and not!Ciel just goes "Nah, then I'd have to see ur stupid face in my dreams too lol". Sebastian like, leans in?? squints?? Idk what he's doing, but he calls not!Ciel a little wretch under his breath, which is kinda funny.

He distracts him by expositing some more. Sebastian basically just clarifies that thing they talked about earlier, about how he wont get to eat not!Ciel's soul if he dies 'prematurely'. However, that "rule" doesnt apply if he decides to kill himself out of his own volition, in which case he would get his soul anyway. He LITERALLY tells him "If you want to commit suicide, be my guest". wonderful

Not!Ciel assures him that he won't die as long as he hasnt reached his goal while putting on an eyepatch thats wayyyyyy too small imo. 

Cut to not!Ciel playing chess with some guy in a garden. That guy is the secretary directly subordinate to the Queen and also our bargain bin Charles Grey, Charles B. Sato. They talk about the Devil's Curse, which what they call those mysterious mummification murders and we find out that eight people, all diplomats, have died so far and that the most recent victim was an ambassador called Anthony Campelle. In case you couldnt tell from the fact that people call it the Devil's Curse, people think its a devil's curse, so a bunch of important people from all over the world are gonna attend a big christian purification ceremony to… idk, prevent more murders?? protect themselves?? This is an important plot point and I think it works well enough as a Thing in a Black Butler story, but it feels so out of place in the modern day, like they originally had this movie taking place in victorian times but then changed their minds and never bothered to change this plot point.

In any case, he tells not!Ciel that the Queen wants the matter settled as quickly as possible before we cut back to the Genpo manor, where he leans over a table with all the evidence theyve found and Sebastian gives us a quick recap of the case so far: the first body was found three weeks ago, this mummification-phenomenon has repeatedly occurred since then and…… thats it. Cool, very necessary.

Not!Ciel asks Sebastian if he has the power to do that to humans and hes just like "eheheh. who knows >:) I am very skilled at coaxing the juice out of fruits tho" and. okay, listen, a lot of the dialogue I describe here is gonna seem wonky bc Im translating it into english from german, but I can promise you that atleast 6 times out of 10 the dialogue is Just Like That and this is one of those times. Also, I was so baffled by this line when I first watched this, that I had to share it w/ the lads over on discord and while I was typing it into DeepL to translate it my brain went "heh, sounds like a euphemism for a gay blowjob". I have nothing else to say.

Okay, well, aside from the fact that Sebastian is making some orange juice during this scene and while hes saying that hes holding the squeezed fruit and looking at it weirdly

Also, idk where to mention this, but while I was looking up character and VA names for this post, I found out that Bernhard Völger also did the voice direction and script for this movie on top of voicing Sebastian, and I was like what??? wait did he write the script for the anime as well AND HE DID?? like, the dialogue in the german anime dub is good! Its no masterwork but its good!! HOW DOES THE DIALOGUE SUCK THIS BAD. MISTER VÖGLER WERE U PHONING IT IN FOR THIS. or was the original script just that bad???? Idk man, lets keep going

Not!Ciel just kinda moves on, bc yeah, what the fuck are you supposed to say to that. He tells Sebastian to go get the police investigation file about the case and we cut over to the Office for Foreign Affairs at the Ministry of State Security. Some guy called Tokizawa approaches some guy behind a desk, I dont know if they mention his name and I dont feel like looking it up, so Im calling him Desk Guy. 

Desk Guy tells Tokizawa that he's been waiting for him because he wont have to worry about anything with him on board. He makes a stupid unfunny joke and Tokizawa just stares at him blankly before giving him the report on the suspected mafia guys who died in the introduction. Desk Guy (his name is Saneatsu Nekoma but idc) is like "Bro dont come to me, head of the Ministry of State Security, with this petty bullshit, leave that to the police, we've already got enough to deal with", but Tokizawa just keeps going and tells him that, according to eyewitnesses, a single man in a black tailcoat killed all twelve of them. He also shows him like, a button, I think? which has the Genpo coat of arms on it as well as a newspaper article calling the Queen of the Wests intelligence agency into question or smth like that idk. Tokizawa starts expositing and we find out that the Queen's Watchdogs carry out assassinations?? I already mentioned that I have some issues with this movies definition of 'Watchdog', but watching not!Ciel and Sebastian carry out an assassination and trying to like, cover it up n shit would probably be more interesting than the plot we got ngl (thats your cue to spend 2 hours watching Book of Murder rather than watch this movie for 2 hours btw)

Desk Guy is like "those are all just rumors man", but Tokizawa insists that, if this Watchdog does exist, then hes a danger that they need to get rid of, to which the desk guy basically responds with "Nah, we're not doing that". So yeah, he takes all of his stuff and goes to leave, but Desk Guy stops him before he can do that by telling him "This conversation never took place, but… Listen Tokizawa, when you get rid of a watchdog… the owner cannot notice". Then he starts playing around with a lighter while the camera seems to put a strange amount of emphasis on his weird cat head ring and the scene ends.

Im gonna be real with you, this scene is pretty pointless but they do both make like, one and a half other appearances in this movie so. yea whatever

Cut to the Funtom Company Headquarters or whatever that building is, where we see a board meeting concluding. After everyone else left, Hanae Wakatsuki, not!Ciel's aunt and our bargain bin Madame Red, approaches not!Ciel like "Are you so distracted bc of Family Stuff that you cant work properly?" and he has to apologize. Not!Madame Red asks him if he found anything in regards to the Devil's Curse and tells him that she supports him n stuff and not!Ciel is just kinda shaking his and nodding, its very awkward

So awkward in fact, that the movie decides to spare us from the rest of this conversation by cutting away to some exposition abt the Genpo family, which is being told to Tokizawa by. someone, i dont fuckin know. 

So, at some point in time, a guy called Earl Ernest Phantomhive decided to change the name of his famous noble family and settle in The East. I already have some stuff to say about this: I looked it up, and there doesnt seem to be a guy with that name anywhere else in Black Butler Canon (although I hesitate to call this movie canon lol), and they mention that the previous head was the third generation head. Later on we're gonna get a line thats like "The Genpo family has been employing demons for generations" which, to me, implies that Ciel Phantomhive existed and that he did what he did in canon, which means that he had a child and didnt die incredibly young, somehow apparently.

Moving on with the exposition, we get the line "Over generations, the House of Genpo created a huge fortune for itself as toy manufacturer", which throws a bit of a wrench into things, bc it implies that the Funtom Company hasnt existed since the 19th century, which would mean that this movie doesnt really line up with either the manga or the anime canon.

Anyway, next we find out that the previous head of the Genpos got shot dead along with his wife for unknown reasons and that their only daughter, Shiori, has been missing without a trace since then, so, thats….. interesting, for sure. Whats more interesting is that two weeks after the murders, some little boy called Kiyoharu (thats our boi not!Ciel in case you forgot) and this weirdo in a tailcoat (that's our boi Sebastian in case you. cant read context clues i guess) just Appeared, claiming to be the illegitimate child of the previous Genpo-head. Im sure those two things are completely unrelated :)

Also, theres apparently some stupid bullshit-tradition where only a maaaaaaale can take over as head of the Genpos and. Okay. First of all, correct me if Im wrong (Im only on volume 21 of the manga) but I was under the impression that, in canon, the person who takes over as Watchdog is the person who was born into the Phantomhive family?? Like, its still the Victorian Times, so I'd imagine that the sons were favoured when it came to that obviously, but if they could only have one child and it turned out to be a girl, I figured that she would take over Watchdog duties regardless. In the case of the Phantomhives specifically, I guess she wouldnt be able to (officially) run the company, maybe?? Idk what the consensus was about that kinda stuff at the time

Yknow what, I feel like this is about as good a time as any to address the whole thing with not!Ciel being trans. Now, I have a bit of a conspiracy theory about the Doylist reason for all of this, but we'll get to that later. For now, I'll just talk about this from a Watsonian, in-universe perspective. The main thing is just, if he was a cis girl, I dont think he would feel that comfortable being misgendered all day every day. Source: I am a cis girl and if I had to pretend to be a boy out in public for some stupid reason, I would definitely tell all three (3) of my servants to address me by my proper name and title while we're chilling in our big empty manor on our own bc fuck it, I'm not getting misgendered in my own house as well. 

Sidenote but, from what I can tell, not!Ciel was around 6 or 7 when his parents got shot. Do you mean to tell me that these people were perfectly fine letting a literal fucking not-even-a-preteen child take over Watchdog duties and carry out assassinations and investigate these insane ass murders, but GOD FORBID a girl tries to do the same

Anyway, thats basically it as far as exposition goes, we also find out that not!Madame Red always supported not!Ciel as his only living relative and as a custodian.

Smash Cut to not!Ciel hangin out w/ our bargain bin boi, Charles B. Sato in his garden again, discussing the Anthony Campelle Case. He hands him the police investigation file and when Charles asks him how he keeps getting his hands on them and not!Ciel is just like "Oh, you know, the Queen's Watchdog has a rather useful tracking dog of his own" while we get some really subtle filmmaking while Sebastian's feeding a cat in the background.

Charles just sorta leaves after that?? even though its his own garden, presumably. Idk, not!Ciel stands up and approaches Sebastian like "Bro whats it w/ you and cats" and Sebastian responds "They are my only conversation partners" which. ughhhhhhhhhh.

I feel like this is a thing that I see quite frequently in remakes and live action adaptations, where they feel the need to 'explain' a fun character quirk rather than just being like "Yeah, this is just part of this guys personality, no explanation needed". Like, Sebastian liking cats is just a cute and endearing Thing, I dont need any reason beyond that for it to be there

That being said, this is gonna be important later, so you should remember this bullshit

So yeah, they leave and we cut to them driving around the city at night. Sebastian tells us that Anthony Campelle's body will be flown back home tonight, that they will reach some meeting point shortly and that they can probably buy themselves about five minutes. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO damn I wonder who theyre gonna meet.

They arrive at a theme park, which is obviously the best place to meet some guy to look at a decayed corpse. So yeah, theyre meeting the Undertaker, obviously. It's a tad unclear if that's supposed to be the OG Undertaker, but judging by the fact that his voice is different and they list him as 'Undertaker Jay', Im guessing not. 

We find out that not!Ciel falsified some documents to make sure that the body goes to this guy bc they know that they can bribe him. 

The undertaker makes weird awkward eye contact with Sebastian and then gets paid in… money. and not laughter, which is really disappointing, but I guess I get it, shit like that works in a dark comedy but would seem weird in this thriller-ish live action movie. But still

Undertaker sniffs the money (?) and agrees to let them look at Anthony for five minutes, so they do that. 

They made like, a puppet/sculpture-thingy for his rotten body and I already mentioned that I like the practical effects for the most part, so yeah, I think it looks pretty good. It looks pretty fake, especially upon rewatches, but idk I dont really mind I thinks its charming (if thats the right word lol)

Sebastian and not!Ciel look over the body and pull a piece of a tobacco leaf from Cuban production out from between his teeth. Cool. We get a really weird shot of the undertaker eating a bone-shaped cookie. Idk. Its only been like, a minute at best but our bargain bin Undertaker is all like "Ey ur time is up btw", so they go to leave but before that, Sebastian smugly pulls a handkerchief out of his suit pocket and reveals that *gasp* its got wine stains on it??!!? Insane

Anyway, the undertaker drives off and not!Ciel is so pissed off at Sebastian being so good at his job even though it benefits him too, it's hilarious. He asks him how he knew there was a stain on the back of Anthony's handkerchief and Sebastian goes on this whole explanation tangent where hes all like "Well, if there was some tobacco between his teeth, he mustve bitten the cigar open instead of using a cigar cutter however I can tell that hes a rich gentleman by his suit, so the only reason he wouldve done that, is if he was drunk and if he was drunk, he probably had some wine stains that he had to wipe away". Cool. Wtf is up with rich people man

Not!Ciel begrudgingly compliments him for that and Sebastian is all like "Oh, no, its no big deal and besides, Im sure you noticed the same thing, Young Master :)", to which he responds by being like "Hmpf, tch. And Im sure you know which exact wine it is too >:|" and. he does, it's apparently a Chateau Bonheur vintage '75. Neato.

Not!Ciel tells him to investigate the distribution channels of both the wine and the cigar bc theyre expensive (and presumably rare) brand products

Smash Cut back to the manor, our boi Sebastian's done investigating and tells not!Ciel that the only place where they have that specific wine and that specific kind of cigar together is some high society club. Like the stuff with the purification ceremony, this feels like it would play a lot better if this movie took place in the 19th century bc yknow, theres a lot less people around. It's not a huge deal, but still, kinda takes me out of it.

Another thing that kinda takes me out of it is the dialogue here, Idk whats wrong with it, but it's just weird. Sebastian explains that it seems like a regular Rich People Club on the outside, but they have special rooms in the basement that only selected members have access to, where they like, do drugs n shit. 

Not!Ciel works out that the envelopes in those pictures of that mafia guy were invitations to those special rooms. Yeah, remember those? Bc I didnt but then again, Ive been writing this post for like a week now. And we're only around 30 minutes in, oh boy.

Anyway, he tells Sebastian to make a list of the party guests and hes like "I already did lol" (you might wanna remember that, although its not that important tbh).

Sebastian tells him that he needs a recommendation in order to get the invitation, which is really annoying and inconvenient, but not!Ciel looks over the list and goes "Hm, there are probably some of my aunt's acquaintances on here", which. doesn't really make things any less annoying and inconvenient bc he really hates interacting with her outside of work. 

Sebastian is like "Being shy to too great of an extend can be a disease" and i swear to god, he has the most rancid-without-being-like,-actually-toxic-or-abusive Dad Energy ever while he says it, next thing you know he's gonna tell not!Ciel that "If he can't change the situation hes in, he should change his attitude about the situation hes in" (this is Foreshadowing btw, remember this)

He doesnt say anything like that though, thank god, he just tells him to be confident and graceful as is befitting for the head of the Genpo family. And. oh god, this fuckin moment. So, not!Ciel is frowning bc hes not looking forward to meeting not!Madame Red and Sebastian tells him that thats rude and grabs his cheeks to 'make' him smile. First off, this kinda shit just doesnt play well in live action, it's incredibly awkward. And to make things even worse, he goes "Come on, smile" and it's supposed to be playful, I think?? but its so dead-pan and weird and oh good god, its awful, Berhard, why did you deliver it like thaaaaaat

Not!Ciel slaps him away like "Stop it! Ive forgotten what it is to be happy after that day". Cut to Sebastian looking at him really fucking strangely, while not!Ciel has flashbacks of a bunch of people wearing blank white masks shooting his parents right in front of him and also branding him, but seemingly without the human trafficking stuff as a reason for him being branded, like, thats just something they did for no reason here i guess. I'll get more into that later though

ANYWAY, Smash Cut to the next day in not!Ciel's fancy dining room (?), where he and not!Madame Red are discussing the case while eating some Rich People Bullshit Food and some fancy ass piano music plays in the background. Also, not!Madame Red is being accompanied by this bodyguard guy, I dont remember his name and it doesnt really matter tbh bc he's not Grell or even a Grell-stand-in so why should I care. 

Sebastian is like, preparing/presenting/whatever I forgot the word, the Rich People Bullshit Food and their drinks and while he's doing that, he and not!Ciel exchange a weird look and Sebastian does some strange shit with his face to indicate that he should smile. Not!Ciel starts contorting his face in a weird way in response and Sebastian is like "oh no, nvm this is worse actually"

So yeah, once we're done with… that, we get not!Madame Red agreeing to get him the recommendation. She asks him what not!Ciel is trying to find out, which ??? Th The Devil's Curse?? What else could he possibly be investigating, not!Madame Red??? Idk, maybe this is actually some 1000 IQ foreshadowing or smth.

Not!Ciel doesnt answer and we get a really awkward moment of silence, she tries to alleviate somewhat by being like "You're always silent when it comes to the most important things" and then launching into this thing about how he shouldnt forget that his mother was her sister and how she wants to take revenge too. 

But then, she suddenly has this spasm?? this attack?? seizure??? Idk, she starts breathing really heavily and holds out her hand for her bodyguard to give her this bottle full of white tablet/pill thingies. She takes one and calms down again, we get a quick shot showing that Sebastian is Observing and not!Ciel just goes "I will avenge them" like that didnt just happen ?

Whatever, we just cut to later in the same dinner and not!Madame Red is looking over the list of secret party guests like "Okay yeah, I know some of these guys, getting you an invitation will be no problemo… however, you gotta bring a date". Man, the amatonormativity here is staggering, but we're also in like, Rich People Land so what am I even expecting

Anyway, not!Madame Red asks not!Ciel if he knows anyone who could accompany him and Rin runs over to the table for reasons that arent conveyed well and, of course, trips and its a fucking catastrophe i guess. 

Those white pills get spilled, not!Madame Red knocks a glass off the table but obviously Sebastian swoops in and catches everything, including Rin, who was about to fall down as well. He apologizes for her clumsiness and not!Madame Red is all like "Woaaaaa that was soooooo impressive, Ive been watching you for a long time, yknow :)"

Not!Ciel gets all pissed at her complimenting him and goes "Yeah, he sure is like an extension of my limbs, but Im still the head and he shouldnt do shit without my explicit orders" and ????? this is really, really stupid but it's pretty important, so remember this  

Cut to them arriving at the club, not!Ciel is NOT crossdressing and going with Sebastian here, he's just gonna go with Rin as his date. He like, looks her up and down and goes "Hm. Not bad at all" and Rin is all like "U-Uwahh (〃＞＿＜;〃) Young Master pls dont look at me like that" and. okay.

Moving on, Sebastian is like "Rin, I'm begging you, do not fuck this up" and not!Madame Red hands not!Ciel the invitation. He just takes it but YOOOOOO the wax seal is the same symbol/crest thingy that got burned into not!Ciel's back?!!?!? So, yeah he has a brief flashback and asks his aunt who's hosting this party. Its some guy called Shinpei Kuzo from Epsilon Pharmaceuticals, a company that creates new medicines, so he tells Sebastian to go investigate their laboratory before going into the club with Rin. 

As we enter the club, we are bombarded with a barrage of techno music and colorful flashing lights and strippers and people doing drugs while wearing fancy masquerade masks. Rin, our sweet innocent summer child, is like "Oh dear what is this place??" while not!Ciel just completely ignores her in favor of informing the audience of the fact that the attendees of this party are important and/or well-known personalities from all over the world via voiceover. 

Then he proceeds to notice some guy called Shinozaki, an arms dealer who allegedly does business with terrorist organisations. Hes kinda like our Viscount Druitt stand-in bc hes like, the red herring basically. I say 'kinda' because its pretty hard to tell and like, I get that they didn't want to call him Druitt but come on throw a blonde wig on that man, please

That one guy, Shinpei Kuzo, comes up on this balcony thingy above the dance floor, introduces himself and tells everyone to please enjoy the evening. Everyone applauds and Shinozaki joins him on the balcony thingy before they both leave, which makes not!Ciel go "Aha! Theres our guys!". So then he just kinda tells Rin to stay put and fucks off to follow them. Cut to not!Ciel sneaking about in an oddly blue hallway but then Rin is suddenly right behind him bc Sebastian told her not to leave him alone. He's all like "I dont care!! Gtfo!!!" and tries to push her out of the hallway by force (?) but oh shit! that Shinpei Kuzo guy is suddenly right there! 

Not!Ciel tries to play it off by being like "Heyyyyyyy, I followed you because I really wanted to meet you in person :D" He also tries to introduce himself but Shinpei Kuzo is like "I already know" and proceeds to tell us some stuff we already know about not!Ciel but like, menacingly. 

Rin gets knocked out, not!Ciel asks him what hes doing in a weirdly whiny way but that might just be the german dub, gets punched twice, calls him a miserable bastard  and then gets knocked out. But before he passes out, Shinpei Kuzo goes "Your yapping and howling is useless" and then proceeds to. howl. Then we cut to a black screen and the man howling transitions into a cat meowing.

Smash Cut to Sebastian fucking around with a cat on some stairs at the Epsilon Pharmaceuticals Laboratory Complex. He checks his pocket watch (?) and then goes "I shouldve known better" ?? Idk what that's about.

Anyway, he breaks into the oddly blue glowing lab and has a good look around at all the Sketchy Science Equipment and Mysterious Old Parchment in some glass cabinets. One of them has an open book that has "Grand Elixir" written in it, Sebastian takes it out to read a bit before he shifts his attention to some other cabinet-thingy, but this is one is like, metal and he needs a key to open it (he has one of those circles with a bunch of keys on it during this sequence). 

The music swells dramatically as we get a shot of a bunch of neatly sorted drugs. They come in three kinds: transparent sphere with yellow liquid inside, transparent sphere with dark red liquid inside and flat white tablet. 

Sebastian takes and eats a yellow one in the funniest way Ive ever seen like, listen, if you don't plan on watching this movie, PLEASE i am begging you to look this movie up and go to the timestamp 0:45:30 and tell me Im not insane for thinking that its funny. 

Anyway, its Piss. He ate a capsule full of piss. Idk what its doing at the Illegal Drug Facility, but its there. HAH just kidding, this is but a Highly Amusing Jest of mine and you totally fell for it, probably. We'll find out whats up w/ that capsule soon enough though, dw. 

He also eats the other two types of drugs and then proceeds to only steal a bunch of the red drugs. These are our Chekhov's Drugs, remember them. Then he looks to the side for some reason, where he sees a doorknob (?) that looks exactly like that symbol that was burned into not!Ciel's back, ooooooooooooooo intrigue

Cut to a bunch of unconscious young girls laying around on some tables (?) with a bunch of tubes sticking out of them, it looks pretty fucked up ngl. Sebastian comes up to one of the girls and holds his hand over her mouth for a moment before going "Ah, yes of course. I see" like something completely obvious is going on here. But we don't have time to dwell on that bc theres suddenly a beeping sound effect fading in and we all know what that means: Explosion Time. 

He finger guns at a blinking red light in the corner of the room, says "Ive got you now" to no one, does an adorable little jump and then the lab fucking explodes

SMASH CUT to not!Ciel and Rin laying in the corner of some room, tied up and with burlap sacks over their heads. Idk whats up w/ Rin, but I do know that ya boi not!Ciel is waking up to conveniently overhear an Obviously Evil Conversation between Shinpei Kuzo and Shinozaki. Shinpei Kuzo is all like "muhahahha I can finally show the fruits of my (EVIL) research to you :)" 

We briefly cut back to not!Ciel and discover that hes got a knife in the heel of shoe (?? somehow idk) and he starts cutting his restraints.

Meanwhile Shinpei Kuzo continues to evilly monologue while Shinozaki stays completely silent (remember this). He explains that all the people 'out there' are addicted to the drugs that he created and that he's gonna turn them all into guinea pigs (also, hes evilly fondling a ceramic skull during this scene). I specify 'out there', bc the people he's referring to arent the ones we saw in that rave-strip club, theyre other people hanging out in another room, thats really brightly lit and has a bunch of mirrors. the mirrors are like, those mirrors that are just mirrors on one side but you can look through them on the other side, Idk what you call them.

Anyway, Shinpei Kuzo continues with his monologue like "In a moment, we'll see the most thrilling show of all time" and then starts announcing some stuff to the secret club attendees. The important part is that he supposedly created The Ultimate Drug and its called Necrosis. Hmmm I wonder if that means anything………

Since none of these people know anything about medical terms or ancient greek they just kinda start clapping. 

A trio of white-robed men with pointy white hoods Suddenly Appears and while watching this for the first time I was like "Oh god. There are black people at this party, this is noooooot gonna go well" and. I mean, I was right about it not going well, but dont worry, these guys are NOT white supremacists. 

Each of them is carrying a weirdly shallow fancy glass with exactly one (1) drug on them because rich people are insane. But wait…. That drug, oh my god! Its that yellow capsule that Sebastian found!! One of them waves the capsule around in front of the crowd, who react really strangely but theyre all drugged up and horny so, whatever. The hooded man then crushes the Necrosis capsule while Shinpei Kuzo tells everyone how to take it via loudspeaker: you just breathe it in after its crushed and the liquid evaporates, basically. If that seems like it would be an unsafe nightmare, well…. You're lucky its not commercially available i guess. 

Whatever, they start smelling the hood guy's hand and theyre all blissed out for a hot minute, before…. blood starts running out of their noses. *GASP* you mean to tell me that the drug called NECROSIS is bad for you?!??? One of the people rips the hood off the hooded guy's head to reveal a gas mask underneath and everyone starts freaking tf out right about now. The other two guys also dramatically pull their hoods off at this point. 

Shinpei is being a huge dick and mocking them from the safety of his secret hiding place like "Well, how does it feel when you're ascending the steps to heaven? Is it not more exhilarating than any high?"

And then the weird gas mask guys pull out one of those devil's card because yeah, this is the Thing behind the Devil's Curse, what a shocker

Then we get some important exposition regarding Necrosis: after you breathe it in your nose starts bleeding, then your ears start bleeding, then you start crying blood, your pulse starts racing before you 'turn into a mummy' at last. You have 15 minutes after breathing it in before you start fully dying and the only way you can be saved (and have all the effects completely reversed) is by taking two capsules of the antidote, which is those red capsules that Sebastian stole (if you only take one, you can survive but will likely sustain brain damage). So yeah, one of the guys pulls out a bunch of Antidote Capsules, but theyre obviously not enough so everyone starts fighting over them. 

Cut to Shinpei Kuzo in his hiding place, giving his big speech to Shinozaki thats like "HAH, something something the nature of humanity selfish, something something that room there is representative of the entire world" and its like. whatever, I dont care about this guy, the most entertaining thing he did was howl at not!Ciel and that was ages ago at this point.

Anyway, he gives Shinozaki the chemical formula to produce Necrosis and then acts all surprised when he pulls a gun on him and shoots him dead. Its kinda funny hes like "This is a bad joke o_o" bro this whole movie is a bad joke.

Shinozaki stands up and aims his gun at not!Ciel…. but doesnt shoot him. Instead he shoots that two-way mirror (?? is that what you call them) and then just kinda leaves. It's worth noting that we dont actually get to see his face throughout this entire sequence (remember that)

Rin wakes up and says "Young Master" a bunch of times while not!Ciel manages to free himself from his restraints using that knife he's got in his heels. Also the drugged up dying club attendees are trying to smash the window/mirror for some reason?? Idk. Maybe because they noticed a bullet coming out of it or smth.

He helps Rin up, they escape into the oddly blue hallway and run into Sebastian, whos just kinda standing there, holding a cat, doing like, the Nya Gesture. Yknow what I mean???

Not!Ciel calls him a miserable idiot because yeah, he's just kinda fucking around rn. He tells him to cut the crap while he's just smugly smirking and Im like. godddddd he doesnt even slap him for that, OG Ciel wouldve slapped him for that. Maybe thats why Sebastian keeps fucking around bc not!Ciel isnt gonna do anything about it anyway lol

Smash Cut to not!Ciel giving our bargain bin boi Charles Sato a quick recap of everything. He explains how Anthony Campelle was probably given a cigar containing Necrosis and that devil's card and then died in his car when he lit it and the vapor or whatever was released. We get some flashbacks as he's explaining it, the editing is kinda neat here. 

So yeah, he tells Charles that Shinozaki commissioned the creation of Necrosis and not to worry bc he's gonna find him and. ughhhhhhhhh. Im getting preemptively annoyed bc hes gonna go out basically by himself to find him like, BRO you have a fucking demon, use him for the love of god. Like, he tells him to "take the precautions" or whatever but ughhhhhhhhh. 

Anyway, Rin interrupts them because theres a police officer at the door and he wants to speak to not!Ciel and Sebastian. They exchange a look and. and Sebastian pulls a fuckinh butterknife out of like, the inside pocket of his tailcoat. Cut to Charles completely ignoring this bullshit and telling them that that purification ceremony is today. I was originally gonna go on this giant tangent here abt how it doesnt make sense for them to do that now that case is solved but whatever, they probably just didnt wanna cancel this big fancy ceremony on such short notice idc. 

Not!Ciel is like "ugh, how annoying. Whatever, Sebastian go talk to the police officer, do whats necessary". Remember this. Sebastian sticks the knife back into his suit and thats the end of the scene.

We get a brief shot of like, a train station with a bunch of police guys standing around and no other people whatsoever bc the people of this world are smart and avoid cops. Then we're w/ Sebastian and some unrelated cops in this dark sketchy warehouse-lookin place, but some white text tells us that this is actually the Interrogation Room at the Ministry of State Security. Also, I wanted to point out that, as he's entering the room you can see that he has to duck a little to not hit his head on the doorframe, and I thought that was funny.

The police officer is that Tokizawa guy btw, he's here for his half a scene and he's like "You know… theres an exception for everything. And in this room of the police department, exceptions tend to become the rule" Get it? Its bc cops are corrupt as fuck

(Theres also a bunch of other guys with him and theyre all surrounding Sebastian but idk their names)

Meanwhile not!Ciel is just kinda waltzin around the completely empty headquarters of Shinozaki LTD. He does remark that its strange, so its not like this is some kinda filmmaking mistake

Back to Sebastian n the other guys, he's standing around in some dimly lit room thats probably in the basement somewhere, squinting while our boi Tokizawa kinda circles him and menacingly says "These three gentlemen will take care of you, Im gonna leave brb" and then he tells his Three Guys to "do whats necessary" before going to leave. oooooooooooooooo ~parallels~ 

Theres not really a point to it, but its neat nonetheless.

Right as he's about to go out the door Sebastian is like "Take your time" ??? Idk but it really grinds Tokizawas gears, he menacingly steps towards him like "You wont be this calm for much longer. Believe me you'll be missing me soon enough" and then he finally leaves. 

I feel the need to point out that Sebastian's actor is squinting for, honestly, the entire movie but its distractingly noticeable in this scene. ALSO those three guys are in SUITS and one of them is like "Alriiight, shall we begin with the interrogation" while loosening his fucking tie like hes switching from Rich Private School Student Mode to Violent Delinquent Mode.

Sebastian is like "Oh, we're having an interrogation in the Interrogation Room of the Ministry of State Security?? Thats what we're doing here?? I'm afraid I can stay for that" and one of the guys tries to attack him but ofc he cant bc yknow. sebastian. We get a fight scene thats like, kinda cool ig?? One of the guys gets thrown into a desk thats just Standing There like yeah, thats the kinda thing you need in your dingy basement at the State Security Investigation Room where you Actually Just Beat The Shit Out Of People And/Or Kill Them. 

Let's check back in with our boi not!Ciel whos walking around a similarly sketchy dingy dirty place. Btw he's wearing a top hat here and thats really funny to for some reason. Like, I get that he. actually, nvm I dont get why he's wearing a fancy ass suit and hat when he was presumably just gonna kill Shinozaki but idk, we've already established that rich people are fucking insane, maybe its literally just that. 

Whatever, GUN SHOT.

Not!Ciel turns the corner and theres a bunch of guys shooting (presumably) all the people Shinozaki employed on a tarp (so they dont have to clean up the blood n shit)

Smash Cut back to Sebastian, he's leaving the interrogation room and says "What's necessary has been done, Young Master" to no one and then we get a brief shot of the three guys being dead (?) in the dingy basement room, before he leaves.

Back to not!Ciel, he's trying watch all those people get murdered but Rin interrupts him. He grabs her by the shoulders like "WHAT are you doing here??!?" and shes just like "Ive been told not to leave you alone under any circumstances" like. sure, whatver. 

Two guys come up behind them and point guns at them, oh no. They start like, herding them towards the tarp, so they can shoot them and not!Ciel pushes Rin away and tells her to run and and none of the guys there stop and try to kill Rin, they just keep dragging not!Ciel over to the tarp and dont do anything about her, how sexist of them. Or, maybe theyre actually radical feminists for this. Oh god, no one tell them that not!Ciel is trans, radfems hate that.

But then they dont actually put him on the tarp, they just kinda push him on the naked ground ?? Idk, the important part is that not!Ciel sees that one of the people who got shot is Shinozaki. What???? But. if he shot that other guy at the club (forgot his name sry) and he's dead now too….. WHOS PULLING THE STRINGS. So yeah, ya bois brain starts firing up and he goes "The culprit only added the cards to stage the murders even more dramatically, if he only had the development of the drug in mind, that wouldn't have been necessary" which means that they wanted the attention of the entire world and the best way to do that is to attack the place that everyone all kver the world is gonna be paying attention to: the purification ceremony.

And the reason he didnt kill not!Ciel was so that he would report back to the Queen that Shinozaki was behind it so they could have a scapegoat and also make it clear to everyone that this insanely dangerous weapon is now in the hands of terrorists (bc Shinozaki had a reputation for doing business w/ terrorists, idk if I mentioned that yet)

We get flashes of like, stuff thats happening at that ceremony while not!Ciel is having his little monologue about it and it ends with a shot of a statue of the Virgin Mary holding Baby Jesus and the way its shot/framed makes it seem like theyre trying to draw a parallel between Mary and not!Ciel, but I cant think of a reason why theyd do that?? Considering whats gonna happen later on, you'd think that they would try to draw a more direct parallel between Jesus and not!Ciel but whatever, I didnt make this stupid movie why do I care

Anyway, someone finally tries getting not!Ciel on that damn tarp after they just let him lie there for like, a minute and they do it by picking him up by his fancy jacket like hes a wittle kitten. Rin also finally tries to intervene and they finally threaten her with a gun. Cool.

So, he's on the tarp and one of the guys aims at him, doesnt shoot him even though he has every opportunity to while Rin is being held back (and also not shot) by another guy who also has a gun. And she let's her glasses fall off her face, thus activating her Bargain Bin Mey-Rin Badass Mode. Also, I dont think I mentioned it so far and Idk where else to put this, but they pronounce Rin really weirdly in the german dub. They pronounce it like Reen/Rene bc shes called Maylene in the german version of the manga (i dont remember how she's called/how they say her name in the german dub of the anime, its either Maylene like the manga or May-Rene/May-Reen).

Whatever, Rin saves not!Ciel and they manage to hide behind a concrete pillar-thingy and all the guys are like "Ugh, we cant let them get away, I go that way, you look for them there" as if they wouldnt have seen them hide and as if they couldnt easily get to them??? Idk, who cares, time for a  semi-emotional moment where Rin is all like "I'll distract them, you get the hell out". Our boi not!Ciel is basically completely shellshocked and makes a noise that I wouldve just translated as "???????" in my subtitles if I didnt take this as seriously as I do.  

Rin responds by telling him that she was trained to protect him from birth and that her family was trained to protect the Genpos for generations, which implies that this is one of Mey-Rins ancestors and possibly that the Phantomhives/Genpos like, selectively bred these people for their eye sight which is. normal and cool and neat. 

And then she deadnames and misgenders him and not!Ciel is like "?????? how did you know????" and she just goes on this whole mini-monologue about how upset she is that she couldnt protect not!Ciels parents and how grateful she is to him which. doesnt explain anything but who cares

Not!Ciel runs off, cue Action Scene. 

Im just gonna say that this is the best action scene in the movie but I might just think that bc its the only one that doesnt have Sebastian, so I dont have to look at his face while watching. It ends with Rin falling down after killing basically everyone and she goes to crawl away bc she cant walk for some reason and then we get a guncocking noise, to which she responds by being like "I serve the Aristocrat of Darkness I die with honor!!" but OOOOOOOOOOO speak of the devil, Sebastian shows up and kills (?) the guy before he can kill Rin (even though he couldve easily killed her, like, he had a gun and he was holding it literally centimeters before her forehead, why does no one i this fucking movie just kill people normally jesus) by stabbing him with one of his butter knives, ayyyyyyyyyyyy

Rin is confused and we rewind to the point where not!Ciel ran off and we see what happened to him while Rin was having her Action Scene. He runs outside and gets caught by Sebastian who was just. hanging around outside the building i guess. Im not bringing up how Sebastian is just fucking around bc we're gonna get to the worst of this soon trust me (also he kinda has an excuse here but idrc). The editing is kinda strange here in a way thats kinda hard to describe and everything gets all desaturated, but the movie is already really desaturated and theyre also in this colorless industrial-lookin place on an insanely mediocre afternoon, so its all just gray.

Anyway, then not!Madame Red and her stupid bodyguard/servant guy who isnt even supposed to resemble Grell in the slightest so who cares about him, drive up.

not!Ciel is like "Quick! We gotta get to the purification ceremony!" and shes like "???¿? are you sure". He doesnt answer, we just Smash Cut to him sitting next to his aunt in the car and he tells Sebastian to go save Rin and then go to the purification ceremony, no matter what. Also, he tells him to "Do whats necessary" (REMEMBER THIS)

Cut back to the present, Rin is all like "But… I dont deserve this :'("  and then passes out. Sebastian catches her and goes "Well then, I hope youre prepared for anything". That doesnt mean anything

Since The Climax is about to kick off, I would just like to say that this post is currently almost 12,900 words long. For reference, the public domain english translation of the Communist Manifesto is 11,450 words. We are an hour and eight minutes into this two hour movie.

We get to that bit I mentioned aaaaaaaaall the way back in the non-spoilery part where the music gets really good while we get some establishing shots and exposition about the purification ceremony via radio broadcast. It's being held in the King's Rich Cathedral or some shit and apparently part of the ceremony was that the attendees as well as a big portion of the population have been praying for an entire night. cool. 

Cut to some fancyass church where a priest or a pastor or whatever is reading some lines from the bible about how like, god is good or smth idk you know how it is with the bible. He's reading psalms 56,14 and 57,2 here and its…. ironic?? questionmark??? Idk man

Smash Cut to not!Ciel noticing that hey, we're not actually driving to the church wtf is going on. This doesnt really make sense for reasons we'll get into later. For now though, not!Madame Red just says "No, this is the right way" in a menacingly monotone voice and then points a gun at his head. Its worth pointing out that the car theyre driving doesnt have a roof, so literally anyone could just. see this shit happening out in the road. 

Whatever, *GASP* the gun has the symbol that was burned into not!Ciel's back on it!! Also, idk if I mentioned this, but that symbol was also on the gun that they shot his parents with, so this is probably that same gun. 

Then we get a flashback-shot of Sebastian bridal carrying Rin for some reason as we continue with the ironic (?) bible verses. We get psalms 57,3-4 which is something like "I call out to God Most High, / to God who stands with me" "He sends me help from heaven; / my enemies revile me" like, yeah, I see what youre doing here.

Here's a bit of behind-the-scenes trivia for my translation of this part: I was originally just translating these bible verses like I did all the other lines, but then I decided that it might be better if I look up actual "official" english translations (that are close to whats being said in german) and use them before realizing that thats dumb and now Im just doing it like I was going to from the start. The reason I bring that up is that this line was originally "I call out to God Most High, / to God who takes care of me" which wouldve been even more on the nose somehow

Cut to not!Ciel being lead into some industrial-warehouse-lookin place while we get more on the nose verses, this is psalm 57,5: "I must camp in the midst of lions, / who are greedy for men. Their teeth are spears and arrows, / a sharp sword their tongue." Like, YEAH I GET IT.

There's a big ol' fan here thats like, blowing in front of this opening that lets sunlight in and idk if Im describing that well lol but I just wanted to mention it bc it makes for some neat lighting during this climax.

Then not!Madame Red's bodyguard puts down this suitcase that can only be opened via secret four-letter password (foreshadowing~) while she's pointing a gun at not!Ciel. He opens it and we see that theres a bomb and a whole bunch of Necrosis inside and that its set to blow up in thirty minutes. Keep this mind for the rest of the climax. 

Bodyguard Guy also hands not!Ciel one of the capsules bc hes a moron ig and not!Madame Red takes a picture of him holding it. So then she launches into some Obviously Villainous Reveal Exposition Stuff or smth where she's basically like "Have you ever seen it up close? Ehehheheh no, of course you havent… couldnt see well with that sack over your face, could you >:)" and we realize that *GASP* she was actually Shinozaki during that one scene???? Woaaaaaaaaa

I know Ive been complaining about this stupid movie for over 13.5k words and will continue to complain for many more words BUT Im a sucker for this kinda setup and payoff and this movie delivers on that, if pretty much nothing else

Now is when Bodyguard Guy actually sets the bomb so it actually starts counting down. Not!Madame Red is like "everyone in the vicinity will fucken die and it will be the biggest terrorist attack ever!!" which, to me, implies that this warehouse-lookin place is like, close enough to that church that the Necrosis vapor could reach it or close enough that they could just, get over there and put the suitcase there in under 30 minutes, but if thats the case, why was not!Ciel all like "where are we going" when they had to have gone in the direction of the church??? Ughhhhh whatever, I'll just move on before my brain fuckinh explodes.

She then holds the camera up and tells not!Ciel that she'll bring that image of him holding Necrosis into circulation after the attack, which. sure. whatever. Also, she says that they want to put the blame on her majesty, the Queen, which implies that she's not at this purification ceremony?? I mean, thats smart but still

One hour, eleven minutes and forty seconds into the movie, not!Ciel gets shot. This will not matter, but I am going to keep reminding you.

He falls to the floor and barely even blinks before trying to tackle her and calling her a traitor. Her bodyguard interferes by smacking him in the face with a cane twice, causing his eyepatch to dramatically fall to the floor and reveal his…….. heterochromia!!! 

Not!Madame Red is like "Oh yea, that reminds me… Sebastian isnt gonna rescue you, after all, you ordered him to go to the church right away, didnt you? That demon" YOOOOOOOOO, she knew??? How??? Well, she doesnt really say. She just kinda goes "like many a Genpo before you, you sold your soul to the devil" cool. I kinda mentioned this earlier, but the way I interpreted this initially was that she's referencing OG Ciel and OG Ciel only, and I think thats still the intent, but the other way to interpret this is that multiple of Ciel's descendants also summoned a demon. Specifically, Ciel's descendants who are the Genpos. If you remember that big ol' exposition dump about not!Ciel's parents, they mentioned that a guy called Ernest Phantomhive changed their name and that not!Ciel's dad is the third generation head. So, we have three options as far as Genpos who also summoned a demon and sold their soul: Ernest, not!Ciel's unnamed grandparent and Arihito, who is not!Ciel's dad. Personally, if we're going with that interpretation, I think Ernest is the guy who did it. 

I dont have a reason for thinking that and also it doesnt matter, lets move on

Not!Madame Red is pointing a gun at him like "If I kill you now, I'll have nothing to fear" WELL WHY DONT YOU. istg I dont usually complain about stuff like this, but its so noticeable how everyone wants not!Ciel dead and yet no one ever shoots him even when they have the opportunity to, the only guy that had any kind of excuse was that mafia ringleader guy from the very beginning. 

Anyway, we get a flashback of not!Ciel getting tucked in by his dad as a little kid. He sits on the edge of his bed and strokes his wittle face and it makes lil not!Ciel smile :) Then his mom comes in to be a Doting Housewife or whatever. Smash Cut to a bunch of weirdos with white masks menacingly walking up the stairs and one of them has a knife/sword for some reason?? They do have a gun, but still. 

Then we get a shot of not!Ciel expressionlessly looking at his crying mom, whos been gagged even though she also immediately gets shot, cut back to not!Ciel who has like, iron shackles around his neck and hands and feet, we get another shot of him expressionlessly looking at his dad who got shot in the head and is now bleeding out, another shot of not!Ciel's crying mom, he finally shows some emotion. Not!Ciel from the present day swoops in via voice over to inform us that his parents Were Indeed Murdered and that thats when he summoned a demon, on that day. I might talk more about that later.

For now, we just get some really weird editing and potential Jesus imagery (?) as Sebastian appears and…. carries not!Ciel away or something, idk man

Back in the present, not!Ciel tries to tackle not!Madame Red again and gets smacked with a cane twice. again. He also gets pinned against the wall by the bodyguard guy with the cane and hes fighting back n shit before he just kinda ends up on the floor like "I cannot die!!" and not!Madame Red is like, irritated but still doesnt shoot him like. girl please. 

Anyway, then she walks towards him and goes "You didnt sell your soul to the devil for nothing. But unfortunately… just wishing for something isnt enough sometimes" ??? Who knows. She FINALLY shoots him, hell yea!! but wouldnt ya know it, the bullet doesnt hit.

So yeah, Sebastian just Fucking Appears behind her like "I think you lost something, gracious lady :) May I return this bullet to you :)" Not!Madame Red has a little freak out while he goes to help not!Ciel stand up and not do Literally Anything about the bullet wound in his arm. Not!Madame Red asks him how he found them. Cut back to that scene right before not!Ciel sent Sebastian off to save Rin, if you remember, he told him to "Do whats necesarry" WELL as it turns out, thats some kinda weird fucking code for "Yeah you can to whatever, as long as it protects me" which. What exactly are the terms of their contract??? Bc in the manga "Sebastian has to protect Ciel" is like, part of the foundation of their whole deal, to the point where Sebastian will disobey his orders if obeying would put Ciel's life in danger, but here its this stupid bullshit.

Whatever, Sebastian explains that he found not!Ciel via talking to some cats, so theres the payoff to that. And. once again, how does the contract work in this movie?? And like, to be fair I dont remember this being in the manga, but in the anime its implied that they have some weird mindlink because of that contract mark. Why didnt they just do that I feel like that wouldve made much more sense and fit the tone of this story far better. But I guess its kinda funny or something idk man this stupid movie has destroyed everything dear to me

Sebastian keeps going and explains that hes had his suspicions about not!Madame Red since he was at the lab because the white tablets she has and the white tablets they were making at the lab are the same. Well, he doesnt explain it like that ig, but thats definitely how he found out. No the way he explains it is like "I found a bunch of ancient documents about immortality n shit in that lab and those white tablets" and then we get a flashback showing that he actually took one of not!Madam Red's that she spilled during the dinner earlier (thats another payoff for ya). He explains that the tablets dont make you immortal, BUT it confers eternal youth, which means that it might prolong your lifespan??? ……… idk Im not getting into this. 

Not!Ciel goes "ok…. Whats Necrosis tho??" and its like, a byproduct of the white tablets. cool. We also find out that the white tablets are made from hormones and enzymes that can only be found in living young girls and thats why they were putting them in crates in the opening scene AND why there were all those girl w/ fucked up tubes sticking out of them at Epsilon Pharmaceuticals. cool coolio. 

Obviously not!Ciel is horrified and not!Madame Red starts laughing maniacally like "I KIDNAPPED AND DRAINED THOSE GIRLS OF THEIR HORMONES BECAUSE OF SOCIETY bottom text" or well, because of the traditions of the Genpos, ig. Idk, then she explains her motivations to us, which are basically that she was supposed to marry not!Ciel's dad and even had his child, but then she got attacked, lost the baby and was told she would never have another child. Because she couldnt give birth to a successor they just kinda left her on the streets and not!Ciel's dad married her sister instead. Also, while shes saying all of this we get like, flashbacks showing all of this shit. 

Shes also like "The traditions of the Genpo fjcking suck you even pretend to be a man because of them" and hhhhhhhhhhhh Ive already talked about the gender stuff, Im not getting into it again. What I will say here is that its a shame we dont get one of those "I am Ciel Phantomhive and by my cursed name, I will do this and that"-moments bc that could be pretty helpful in figuring out what he actually thinks of himself, but alas

Not!Ciel is yelling about how his father wouldnt have done that but not!Madame Red just steamrolls right past that and keeps monologuing. We find out that she always has those weird spasms? when she thinks of her sisters happiness but that those white tablets somehow help with them??? cool

That  that moment when your immortality pills made from little girl hormones also help with your rage induced heart palpitations

Whatever, then we get one of the best lines in the movie from not!Madam Red which is: "But at some point I realized that… if I cant have a child, then… I just have to find a way to become immortal!" Nothing more to say, really.

She also directly follows it up with "And when all the people who hold on to these traditions are dead, I will reign and dictate the rules!" Thats a category 6 girlboss moment babey, a bunch of people are gonna die 

And then not!Madame Red tells not!Ciel that she wishes he had never been born and it does not have the same emotional impact like, at all. Like, ughhhhhhhh why did they make it so that she hates her sister? Part of what made the OG Madame Red compelling was that she genuinely loved her sister and Ciel too, and that killing him was the line she wouldnt cross even when she was at her worst but in this movie its just like, yea she shot him in the arm, did you forget that she shot him in the arm btw bc the writers sure did, and she had no qualms about shooting him in the head.

Not!Ciel is about fucking break down crying and we cut go Sebastian whos like "Mmmmmh the nature of humanity amuses me >:)" like cool, thanks for nothing man. Actually no, we get a voice crack from Bernhard Völger when he delivers that line and its funny to me, but other than that we get literally nothing. 

We just cut right back to not!Ciel whos like "Did you really kill them :'(" and not!Madame Red responds "Yes :) I did :)" and his face starts Emotionally Convulsing in anger.

Then we get a flashback that shows us that not!Madame Red let the murderers into the house and that she was taking a bath with milk and rose petals while the murder took place like a #girlboss. We also see that she has a Special Locket thats gonna be kinda important later I guess

Back to the present, not!Ciel yells at Sebastian to go kill her, so he tries stabbing with a butterknife but he gets stopped by *gasp* not!Madame Red's bodyguard guy!! Did you forget that he was there, bc I forget that he was there when I first watched it and when I rewatched it just now, I was like "damn, I dont remember her dying like that and we're also only an hour and 24 minutes in, I wonder whats gonna happen in the remaining 30". But yeah, somehow this random guy can hold Sebastian "The Actual Fucking Demon" Michaelis back except not really?? Idk, I'll get into it later ig.

Sebastian doesnt just kick this joker in the balls and then goes and does what not!Ciel told him to bc we need an Action Scene babey!! 

I forgot to mention this, but theyve all been standing on like, a platform thingy in this warehouse-place and it collapses (?) beneath Sebastian and Bodyguard Guy and they roll onto the floor while not!Ciel calls out to him. Not!Madame Red points a gun at him from behind and, instead of just shooting him now that his demon is distracted, tells us that her bodyguard's body was somehow enhanced by pharmacy and thats why he can take him on ig

You know, I would complain about how in the anime and manga (which this movie seems to at least try to follow somewhat) you had to be some supernatural creature or blessed by some goddess to even have a chance against him and in this movie its just like, a guy whose existence is being sponsored by Big Pharma or smth BUT they actually establish later that Sebastian couldve killed this joker at any time, which means that I'm gonna complain about him fucking around instead.

Like ugh I mentioned this earlier but this stresses me out so badly I just wanna take him by the collar of his stupid tailcoat and shake him around like "SEBASTIAN. SEBASTIAN YOUR HUMAN. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR FUCKING HUMAN HES GONNA DIE SEBASTIAN WE ESTABLISHED THAT YOU WONT GET TO EAT HIS SOUL IF HE DIES NOW BRO" and ughhhhhh. I get that his soul is probably like, mediocre as fuck especially compared to OG Ciel's soul but hes been at this for 10 years now like cmon. And yeah, 10 years is probably nothing to a Literal Demon or whatever but like, if I was hungry and I took ten seconds out of my day to make a really mediocre sandwich and then someone shot it with a gun and I couldnt eat it anymore, I'd be pretty upset yknow

Moving on, not!Madame Red is like "Can your demon stand against a miracle of god?" which. doesnt ? make sense?? This is so out of context, why didnt she just say smth like "Can your supernatural demon stand against a Creation of Medical Science™?"

Whatever, they keep fighting and Sebastian is lowkey getting his ass kicked which is. man, I dont even have the energy to get that mad at this point Im just exhausted.

A definitive highlight of this fight is Sebastian getting pinned against the wall by Bodyguard Guy in a vaguely gay way. Also, Bodyguard Guy has been fighting with a cane and while pinning him he reveals that theres actually like, a sword inside so thats cool. He also manages to give Sebastian a cut on the cheek despite not touching him. at all. 

They pause their fight so Sebastian can gingerly touch his injured cheek while the bodyguard is like "As far as I know, you need a silver stake to kill a vampire… Whaddaya say, how'd this silver sword taste??" ??? what. I can see why not!Madame Red hired this guy, he also says random barely-in-context bullshit. Anyway, Sebestian responds by being like "Ugh dont compare me to such a vulgar species >:|" and then they continue fighting while some honestly pretty sick orchestral music plays in the background

Not!Ciel and not!Madame Red, who is still holding a gun to his head btw and also he still has a bullet wound in his arm in case you forgot bc the writers sure did, come down from their platform-thingy for some reason. Meanwhile Sebastian's gaining the upper hand and manages to knock the sword-cane out of Bodyguard Guy's hands and starts threatening him with his Singular Butterknife. Like, holy shit, I cannot possibly describe to you how lame this is. Obviously this kinda shit works a lot better in animation but also, theres a reason he uses multiple knives and theres a reason he uses them either like wolverine-esque claws or like throwing knives and not like A FUCKEN SWORD; its because its LAME you need something longer for Sword Shenanigans yknow.

Thank god our #girlboss is there to break this cringe up. She's like "Oh you'll lose her soul if I shoot him dead now dont you" like GIRL you want him dead just shoot him!! You literally have the gun to his head!!! Ugh, #girlfailure. Then Sebastian releases the bodyguard guy, turns towards not!Madame Red and lets his knife clatter to the ground. You know, like a moron. 

Obviously Bodyguard Guy tackles him and he slides across the floor like a wet towel in the wind, gets kicked in the face and almost falls into this Inexplicable Pit thats just there, beneath them, in this warehouse-thingy, but he manages to hold onto a Convenient Railing so its all good.

We get a brief shot of not!Ciel sorta stumbling and holding his arm because the actress didnt forget about the bullet wound even though the writers did at some point. Then we're back to the bois, Bodyguard Guy is picking up his sword-cane, we're immediately back to not!Madame Red being like "AHAHHAHA I wonder if you can kill a devil >:D" She's laughing manically and not!Ciel seizes the opportunity to knock the gun out of her hand and try to punch her and fail bc she just catches his hand no problem. 

BUT not!Ciel smirks :o so shes like "wtf" AND THEN he opens his fist to reveal….. Necrosis. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO obviously not!Madame Red is all smug like "How unwise, because without the antidote youre gonna fuckin die :)" but she reaches to like, a little chain on her shirt and she goes "Its gone!! o_o" Uh oh. She turns to not!Ciel like "DO YOU HAVE IT" and he opens his other hand to reveal a little charm-thingie with two capsules of the antidote. 

We get a lil flashback to when Sebastian first appeared behind not!Madame Red in this warehouse-place, apparently not!Ciel took that opportunity to steal her little antidote-charm and she didnt notice somehow. whatever. 

Cut back to the present, not!Ciel crushes the capsules beneath his boot and goes "And just like that, the roles are reassigned" and. dare I say, thats a #boyboss moment. Not!Madame Red starts nose-bleeding and panicking, so she calls out to her bodyguard guy to give her the emergency antidote capsules or whatever only to discover that *GASP* he doesnt have it either….. Uh oh. 

Guess who has it thats RIGHT its ya boi, Sebastian, turns out he grabbed em while Bodyguard Guy was homoerotically pinning him against the wall. Anyway, he just eats them like the stone cold mf he is.

Not!Madame Red starts freaking tf out while not!Ciel grabs the gun and completely forgets about the bullet wound in his arm, just like the writers. He and Sebastian exchange A Look for some reason?? Whatever, Sebastian turns to Bodyguard Guy like "If you wanna defeat me, do it now" He also does a weird little thing with his hand where he covers the cut on his cheek for a moment and then takes it away to reveal that its gone ?? Idk but I kinda love this moment ngl, so i dont really care. Bodyguard Guy goes to tackle him but Sebastian does some bullshit and then stabs him with his own cane-sword in 10 seconds like, what was the point man. And then he lets his body fall into the Inexplicable Pit. cool. 

Our gal not!Madame Red is on the floor, begging Sebastian to help like the #girlfailure she is unfortunately, but just walks right past her towards not!Ciel. He's like "hey remember the antidotes I stole from the laboratory, here they are so that you dont fucking die" so thats our payoff for those. Not!Ciel just kinda wipes the blood from his nose and goes "I don't need them, you'll eat my soul after this anyway why bother" but not!Madame Red sprints over to him and grabs his shoulders like "NO please I didnt kill your parents!!" and. yeah, but you still let them in didnt ya. Idk, she means like "Oh no, I was just someone else's tool during all of this" and I dont really see how that makes a difference tbh because not!Ciel already knew that she wasnt literally the person who shot his parents dead and he wouldve still considered her dying a suitable revenge or whatever (atleast I think he knew?? Idk at this point). 

We get a flashback of that mafia guy from the beginning introducing her to someone. Apparently she was approached by some organization to help with an assassination and she went "well, I fucking hate my sister so sure thing". cool. Not!Madame Red tries to be all "The head of that organization is the real mastermind!!" and ughhhhhhh Im sorry but why would not!Ciel care? Like idk, imagine if Ciel at the end of the anime, after Sebastian defeated the angel went "ok but we still gotta kill the queen bc she ordered this" like no man, you already killed the person directly involved with his parents death (and the person behind the cult that trafficked and further traumatized him) you dont need this

Whatever, he asks her what the guys name is, shes like "I honestly dont know!!" and not!Ciel drops the gun bc hes a moron ig. Sebastian's like "what are you gonna do now" and. ughhhhhhhhhh he's not gonna kill her as long as hes not sure she's the murderer or whatever. Hes like "young master are you sure. theres only two capsules left" and yes, yes he is sure for some fucking reason. So yeah, he offers her one of the capsules so they can at least both survive, meanwhile Sebastian is burying his head in his hand in the background like boiiiiiiiii same tbh. We get a moment where she thanks him and is genuinely touched and then she SNATCHES BOTH OF THE CAPSULES WHO COULDVE SEEN THIS COMING. 

She starts laughing maniacally and going "I DID IT HOW COULD YOU HAVE BEEN SO STUPID" ya girl is having a full joker moment. Not!Ciel is devastated and asks her if she just lied to him and shes like "Nah, I was telling the truth" like idgaf, if I was not!Ciel I wouldve definitely killed her after this anyway out of pure spite but whatever. Not!Madame Red starts laughing even more maniacally somehow BUT THEN she starts like, choking ?? I think?? Idk

Anyway! Sebastian starts giggling in the corner and its kinda cute ngl, I dont think hes ever laughed like that in the anime. Not!Madame Red doesnt seem to agree though, shes crying blood and being like "you monster, what the fuck did you do". He's like "Oh :) This was just a :) tiny little experient of mine :) I was wondering how a greedy human would act if only two capsules of the life-saving antidote were left :)" and then. holy shit. Then he reveals that those two capsules weren't actually the antidote; they were two Necrosis capsules MIXED WITH HIS OWN BLOOD. 

I mean. at least he finally stopped just fucking around, so thats somethin

He also goes "I did what was necessary just as the young master ordered" and Im like, better late than never i guess. Also, we dont ever get to see not!Ciel's reaction to all of this, he's completely out of frame during all of this. ALSO he still has that bullet wound in his arm did you forget bc the writers sure did.

 But anyway, we cut to not!Madame Red standing in front of those two fans I mentioned earlier and ngl, this shot is actually pretty sick its so dramatic, I really like the music too. We get some flashbacks with her and not!Ciel's dad that we've already seen earlier and she cries an actual tear and it like, dilutes the blood running down her cheek, its good stuff. And then she uhm. dissolves into ashes. Like, straight up Im not lying here, I remember watching this, losing my mind and feeling like I had to take a walk but I couldnt bc it was like 11pm at that point and Ive been watching this movie for over 4 hours. 

So uh. Madame Red? More like Madamn Red bc ya girl is going to hell for sure

We finally get to see not!Ciel's reaction and hes absolutely horrified. He walks over to her remains, which is to say, her clothes and her locket, and he opens it and theres a picture of her and his dad inside. cool. Then he puts it down like some kinda memorial I guess. 

Sebastian goes "Hey we gotta get to your aunts house now" for some reason ?? and we get some more bibles verses, this is psalms 60,13-14: "Help us in the battle with the enemy! For the help of men is useless" "With God we shall accomplish great things; He Himself shall trample our enemies" great. Not!Ciel completely ignores Sebastian and instead turns around to the locked briefcase with the bomb and all the Necrosis, while we get psalms 61,2-3: "God, hear my plea, / pay heed to my prayer!" "From the ends of the earth I call to You; / for my heart is despondent" 

Then not!Ciel starts slowly walking towards the suitcase while Sebastian is all like "What are you doing :( You havent reached your goal yet :|" and he responds "Yeah….. I know…." like ???? Oh god, everything after this is gonna be so fucking stupid. 

Sebastian asks him if he really thinks its more important to save other people when he's slowly dying from Necrosis as we speak and also he has a bullet wound in his arm and is slowly bleeding out did you forget bc the writers sure did. His voice has a very subtle and strangely soft edge to it, it almost reads as though he's in like, disbelief that a human could be that selfless or something ?? Idk, put a pin this ig.

Not!Ciel fully ignores him again and just keeps going towards that suitcase, while a weird sad japanese pop song starts playing very quietly in the background ?? Okay, cool. He tries to crack the suitcase by entering not!Madame Red's birthday as a code and it doesnt work, his dad's birthday doesnt work either and hes all out of ideas ig, so that sucks. Sebastian Suddenly Appears behind him to say "You wont be able to carry out your revenge. Is that really what you want?" while not!Ciel just hhhhhhhhhh keeps fucking ignoring him.  

Honestly, this is kind of power move but I cant really endorse it because its just so stupid and infuriating. Like, you have a demon. Use him. WHY ARENT YOU TELLING HIM TO HELP YOU SOMEHOW THERES NOTHING PREVENTING YOU FROM DOING THAT. Also the fact that Sebastian isnt doing jack shit on his own aaaaaaaaaaaaaa I wanna commit a crime.

So then not!Ciel apologizes to his parents, grabs the suitcase and starts making a run for it while Sebastian looks on after him with a weird unreadable expression AND we get more on the nose bible verses :D 

This is psalm 61,4-5 "You are my refuge, / a strong tower against the enemies." "In your tent I want to be a guest forever, / I want to nestle in the shelter of your wings.", we get to hear it while our boi is dragging himself to some stairs and stumbles bc hes trying to quickly go up the stairs in heels. 

So yeah, he drops the suitcase obviously and hes like, weakened and panting and shit and ayyyyyyyyy, Sebastian's still here for some reason. Not!Ciel calls out to him but he just looks down at him like that 'Pathetic' meme and goes "It seems that I have picked an extraordinarily average master" which. Okay, I'll get into that later. He also tells him that he's not obliged to help him if he voluntarily dies bc its basically like suicide, so theres our payoff for that ig. Also, I guess this is supposed to be the justification for why not!Ciel doesnt just. order him to help, but like, if he ordered him to help, he'd have to do it, right. Right?? Honestly who cares at this point. 

They exchange a weird look before not!Ciel picks himself off the ground and the pop music (which has been playing in the background this whole time btw) starts getting louder as footage of him dragging himself up the stairs intercuts with footage of the purification ceremony. 

And also while hes doing that, Sebastian Suddenly Appears in his path but he just keep ignoring him #boyboss. I can only assume this bit is supposed to be tense or emotional or whatever but its just kinda strange and awkward, which is this stupid movie in a nutshell tbh

So, he finally arrives at the roof of this warehouse-thingy and thinks "wait. THE DATE OF MY DAD'S DEATH" so he enters that as the code and he winds up being right, ayyyyyyyyyy!! So he opens it and *GASP* the bomb is about to go off in 10 seconds, oh no!! Not!Ciel gasps, grabs the bomb, runs up to the ledge of the roof in slow-motion and throws it off just in time for it to explode in midair. Also, the pop song stopped at some point, but I wasnt keeping track of that. 

We get a close up of not!Ciels face and see that he has these fucked up veins spreading up to his cheeks but hes also clearly Not Rotting Alive (or even crying blood!) bc he's gotta stay pretty or whatever. I also wanted to mention that the color grading is really gray here just like that scene outside of the other warehouse place.

Not!Ciel collapses onto his back, breathing really heavily from the sheer catharsis like "I DID IT". Cut to a blurry shot from his POV where we can see Sebastian looking down on him, that lasts for just a beat too long which makes it really awkward, but what else is new. He's all like "To choose death for oneself for the sake of others… Well, that saves me a lot of effort. insert laugh track Under these circumstances, i may take your soul, Young Master" to which not!Ciel responds by being like "Just take it" and honestly yeah, please just put all of us out of our misery at this point man. Sighhhhhhh but before we get that, we gotta have some Vague Philosophical Dialogue between not!Ciel n Sebastian bc thats what they do in Black Butler ig. And yeah, they do have those in the anime and manga n shit but idk. They probably come across better when its animated and also when not!Ciel isnt laying flat on the ground, slowly dying in the most pathetic way. 

Ughhhhhh whatever, not!Ciel goes "It was my decision to take this path" and Sebastian says "You lie to yourself and pretend to be strong. You won't be able to avenge your parents anymore. Oh I really do pity you" and ??? whatever Im this close to finishing this, I'll try to be less nitpicky. 

Then not!Ciel is like "No, Sebastian, YOU'RE lying to yourself" and he goes on being like "You really wanted to watch and experience what it must be like for someone to throw away his life and sacrifice himself for others" and Im just gonna stop right here bc I just realized that he used he/him here or rather, that I translated it using he/him pronouns. 

So, the german sentence (the important part of it, anyway) is "[...] wie es wohl ist wenn jemand sein Leben wegwirft und sich für andere opfert…" 'Sein' is a masculine pronoun, however since we dont really have gender neutral pronouns aside from 'es' (it), we mostly just use the masculine ones by default (they do it in english too, but they have the "option" of using 'they', which is not really something you can do in german). So yeah, this doesnt really put the nail in the coffin as far as not!Ciel's gender goes for me, however, if they went of their way to use the feminine pronouns for this ("[...] wie es wohl ist wenn jemand ihr Leben wegwirft und sich für andere opfert…"), I wouldve been like "Oh thats a girl 100%". I mightve mentioned this before, but like, not!Ciel himself never refers to himself as a girl, its always other people.  

Anyway, lets get back to their Vaguely Philosophical Dialogue. Not!Ciel goes "After all, the feelings of humans seem to be of great importance to you in some way. Thats the only reason youre in this world" okay, lets start with the thing that bothers me for obvious reasons: my brother in christ, hes in this world bc he needs to eat. hes a demon they eat souls shouldnt you know this. 

The second, less obvious thing is YES, human emotions DO seem to be important to Sebastian somehow in the manga too and YES it is an interesting aspect of his character, but whyyyyyyyy would you just SAY that here?? Like yeah, I was able to figure that out from reading the manga, but theres still a level of ambiguity to it yknow?? 

Sebastian does deny it here, but ughhhhhhhh I just hate it man, why do I have to justify myself.

Then he goes "Mindful of their own gain, egoistical, immoral and not afraid to murder: That's what humans are truly like. As I know them." like, I'll get into why this is annoying later, for now I'll just say sighhhhhhhhh not!Ciel is his magic pixie dream girl. awesomeeeeeeeee. 

And then not!Ciel says "I've heard that the devil was an angel at first. But his goals had been too lofty after which he had fallen into hell and became the devil" while we get a shot of Sebastian looking down at him with an unreadable expression that looks vaguely like disappointment, but I kinda doubt that its supposed to be disappointment lol. He also says "But it doesnt really matter" which is the first smart thing he said in this movie, before passing tf out. And I want go make this absolutely clear, he is NOT DEAD, he passed out, alright?? alright.

So, Sebastian looks down on him for an uncomfortably long moment, we get a shot of his closed fist and he opens it to reveal…… two capsules of the antidote :O woaaaaaaa. Cut to a close up of not!Ciel's lifeless-but-not-actually-dead face, then a shot of him just kinda leaning against Sebastian's chest and. oh good lord. so, guess what he does with the antidote. Heeeeeeeeeee eats it ayyyyyyyyyy

Alright, at this point during my first watch of the movie I noticed that I needed to go to the bathroom and that I was also pretty thirsty, so I paused the movie to pee and then fill up my water bottle. I actually needed to go to the bathroom for a while at this point and was originally going to do it after I finished watching, but I was like "whatever, I already know how this is gonna end anyway". Needless to say, I was wrong. Idk, if youve watched this movie please tell me what you thought was gonna happen at this point or if youve only read this post, please tell me what you think is gonna happen next before you keep reading.

Heres what I thought was gonna happen: Sebastian would eat the capsules, then we would get to see the conclusion of the purification ceremony intercut with him holding not!Ciel, we'd probably get some more on the nose bible verses. Cut to a news broadcast being shown in some public place thats like "its been 2 weeks since the ceremony and we havent had any more Devil's Curse related deaths :D god be praised" or whatever and then we'd get a shot of a crowd watching it and in that crowd is *gasp* Sebastian?? And then he'd disappear into some dark alleyway and its implied that he went back to hell or whatever. And the thematic point would be smth like "humans are capable of both good and bad things, of creating both their own destruction and their own salvation but the devil destroys all of that i guess" which. yeah, thats relevant to real things happening in real life, good job on the themes bro. 

But, this isnt what happens. What happens instead is much simpler and also so much worse. Get ready

Sebastian kisses not!Ciel. He's got the antidote in his mouth and he administers it via kiss. ayyyyyyyyyy. 

Here's where that conspiracy theory I mentioned earlier comes in: I think the reason they did this stuff w/ not!Ciel being trans/a girl pretending to be a guy is that they wanted to have this moment. Thats pretty much it. Mainly bc nothing actually comes of the fact that not!Ciel is AFAB and like, Im not one of those people whos like "hurr durr any character whos not a cishet guy needs a justification for not being a cishet guy", however, a lot of mainstream filmmakers do think like that, so yeah. Sorry, I'm having some trouble properly explaining this, I hope you get what I mean. 

The kiss ends, we get a shot of Sebastian's unreadable expression, then a shot of not!Ciel and see those fucked up veins fading away. Then he wakes up. neato. Not!Ciel goes "what did you do?!?" and Sebastian basically responds like "I gave you the antidote dont. dont worry abt it". Obviously not!Ciel is confused because "You werent obliged to save me" like, YEA we KNOW youve told us THREE TIMES, if he voluntarily kills himself, Sebastian gets his soul and wouldnt have to interfere. Whatever, Sebastian explains that taking his soul under these circumstances wouldnt be very appealing, whatever that means, and that hes going to expose it to the darkness for a while longer so that it grows into a powerful black soul. 

MY BROTHER IN CHRIST youve been at this for like, 10 years if his soul is still mediocre its gonna stay mediocre, sorry not sorry.

Also, the way he phrases that kinda implies that hes going to traumatize not!Ciel further in order to like, make his soul taste better somehow, which could be an interesting concept i guess, its just. ughhh, I already really dislike this version of the Ciel/Sebastian dynamic and this just makes everything worse. Also, even if the concept is kinda interesting, we didnt get a sequel so it doesnt really matter, does it. I guess you could also see that as an explanation for why Sebastian's been doin such a bad job at yknow, protecting him, but I just see it as stupid, sorry

Whatever, they exchange A Look and then we get a shot of the slightly-better-than-mediocre afternoon sun over the city skyline. Fade to Sebastian bridal-carrying not!Ciel over to the manor, at least they got that right yknow what I mean? I only really noticed that when I started reading the manga recently, but Sebastian is always just picking Ciel up its kinda funny. Anyway, do you remember the bullet wound, the one that writers forgot about?? well, its been finally bandaged up, presumably by Sebastian. Better late than never, king.

Also Rin n Tanaka are there to greet them, so thats sweet. 

ALSO also, I just noticed this now, but holy fuck, not!Ciel has been wearing so many fucking bead necklaces throughout all of this. 

Cut to an uncomfortably long shot of Sebastian staring directly into the camera as we fade to a scene thats completely irrelevant! Yayyyy!!

So yeah, basically we're back with Desk Guy, do yall remember him? The Ministry of State Security guy that wasnt Tokizawa, yeah that one. Basically, we find out that he has some connection to the guys who killed not!Ciel's parents and its like, sequelbait that doesnt matter bc we didnt get a sequel lmao. The best way I can describe it is, this would be the post-credits scene if this was a Marvel movie which. no offense to anyone who likes those, but literally the only way I can imagine this movie being worse is if it was a Marvel, so thank god its not. 

Smash Cut back to the Genpo Manor, not!Ciel is in bed recovering from almost rotting to death and also getting shot in the arm did you forget that he got shot in the arm btw. Sebastian is standing next to it and asks him what he was planning to do if he didnt give him the antidote in the right moment. Idk, die? He was lying dead on the concrete wtf do you mean "what wouldve been the end of it?"??

not!Ciel responds by being like "idk I just kinda knew you would save me" ?? You have that level of trust in the guy who just kinda fucks around and barely protects you when your life is in danger?? And then he continues like "...If I had ordered you" ?? Im pretty sure this is supposed to imply smth like "ohohoh ehehhe I know you caaaaare about meeee <3 >:)" but my brain is kinda turning into mush rn, so I cant say for sure. 

Then we basically get the exchange they had at the end of the Circus Arc with him being like "Demons suck but humans, including me btw, suck in complex and layered ways, thats why you can never ever betray me, Sebastian!! I order you to!!" and Sebastian being like "Very well" (ONCE AGAIN NOT "Yes, Young Master" Im gonna tear my fucking hair out), except the vibe is so… off. Like, in the manga (and the anime), this exchange takes place in this mostly empty field among the ruins of some workhouse, but here it takes place in not!Ciel's bedroom and it has this layer of intimacy now but bc his and Sebastian's dynamic fucking sucks it feels unearned and weird. Also, Sebastian looks like he just swallowed a bee and that really isnt helping either

Sebastian stares at him for just a moment too long and starts tucking him in. cool. So then he goes to leave but obviously not!Ciel calls him back like "Stay. Until Ive fallen asleep". He's mildly surprised but then smirks and, rather than stand a good two meters away from the bed and loom over him the whole night like some kind of weirdo, sits down on the edge of not!Ciel's bed without any prompting on his part like a different kind of weirdo. Speaking of Sebastian being a weirdo and doing shit without prompting, he starts stroking not!Ciel's face. And. oh my good lord, this. 

So, at this point we intercut this moment with a flashback of not!Ciel's dad stroking his face and it makes him smile so its fiiiiine. its fine. Yep totally. And Sebastian is also smiling/looking at him in fascination ?? and hey, pro-tip: dont. do this. That is all. 

He says "Yes, Young Master… I will always be with you. I promise. Until that moment when your life ends", cut to black, roll credits and play a sad pop song bc this movie is fucking DONE babeyyyyyyyy I just hit 21k words on this post and I definitely have No Regrets about. anything….

AND YET i am not done, because I somehow still have Thoughts about this movie, so here they are, in no particular order:

So, I feel like I need to clarify some stuff about not!Ciel's gender thing yet again, which is that Im not against the idea of having like, a female version of Ciel for an adaptation, its just that, if they wanted to do that, they shouldve just done it, yknow? Like, dont do this "disguising yourself as a guy bullshit" that doesnt even fucking matter in the end and just have him be a girl!! Its fine!! If you still wanted to have some vaguely feminist-esque stuff in your movie (without actually making it part of the story in a meaninvful way obvs), you could have a scene where some stuffy old execs are being misogynistic and then not!Ciel sticks it to em somehow idk. 

Like, not!Madame Red's whole backstory is clearly trying to say something about the way women are like, dehumanized and reduced to baby-making-machines to be discarded if they cant fulfill their One True Purpose, but just feels so hollow bc it comes up for the first and only time like, 90 minutes into the movie, doesnt get expanded upon in the slightest and then she acts completely horrible towards not!Ciel before dying of Dissolving Into Ash. phenomenal. 

Also, not to be That Guy™, but all of that isnt helped by the story itself being really sexist, especially compared to the original. Like, she despised her fully innocent sister until the end huh. And her sister's (at the time) innocent child that, if the movie summaries I found online are any indication, we are supposed to see as a girl. Because of a GUY who was TOO MUCH OF A PUSSY TO EVEN TRY TO STAND UP TO STUPID PATRIARCHAL TRADITIONS. IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2020. god

Whatever. Next I would like to complain about the scene I just described at the very end of the movie, with not!Ciel and Sebastian having that interaction in his bedroom. While rewatching it I couldnt help but be reminded of a scene from a fanfic I read recently (not accusing this movie of copying that fanfic ofc, it came out like 3 years after the movie). It was a longer fanfic w/ like 30 chapters, I only read 24 of them for reasons I shall explain shortly, and it was basically just a series of loosely connected scenes where Ciel and Sebastian's relationship grows from pining into like, love or whatever. Idk, I have a bit of a complicated relationship with Sebaciel as a ship bc Im weirded out by it for The Obvious Reasons but like, it scratches literally all of my itches as far as fictional relationships of any kind go and I obviously wanna read fanfics about that, so I just kinda read them anyway and just pretend that Ciel isnt 13 in them. ALSO im a big fan of Seemingly Completely Emotionally Unaffected Characters breaking down and screaming and crying and throwing up and having to be vulnerable n shit, but the thing is, its pretty difficult to do that with Sebastian specifically bc its hard to traumatize a guy like him (without it seeming out of character I mean), so I guess I'll have to settle on him being vulnerable because of luuuuuuuuv <3 Like, Ive only read one (1) fanfic that did it right and it handles topics that are so intense and triggering that the writer went on a hiatus for the sake of their mental health after four chapters. 

But whatever, Im going on a tangent within a larger tangent, lets just move on. 

Anyway, so in this fanfic theyre getting closer and stuff and theyre kinda worrying about their future in the background bc yknow, Sebastian's probably gonna eat his soul soon. Then, with basically no build-up we get chapter 24, where he carries Ciel off to that bench from the last episode of season 1 and apparently Ciel already completed his revenge at some point so Sebastian is going to eat his soul now. Like in the anime, he sits him down on the bench and they have their little conversation before Ciel closes his eyes and waits for him to start eating or whatever. But… he's not doing anything :o So yeah, he cant do it, he cant eat his soul because of luuuuuuuv <3 and he just kinda. rests his head in his lap. And like, the way Im describing it here does not do it justice at all, I need you to know that I was reading this shit at 2am literally shivering because. oughhhhhhh its just so intimate, yknow?? 

And I couldnt help but think about that while watching Sebastian stroke not!Ciel's face in the movie, because its just so euwghhhhh in comparison, yknow?

Like, okay, I know for a fact that I wouldnt like a scene like the one from the fanfic in the actual manga (atleast not at this point, when we havent really had the buildup for something like that), because Ive read standalone oneshots that were basically just that scene, but without the buildup from the rest of the fanfic and I dont particularly like those. 

However, they still dont feel as euwghhhhh as the scene in the movie because theyre still based on Sebastian and Ciel's manga/anime relationship, which is a very solid and interesting one, while Sebastian and not!Ciel's movie relationship is just so euwghhhhh, yknow?? And, Im gonna be honest, if I had watched this movie without knowing the source material, I wouldve probably liked it, however since I do know the source material Im gonna bitch about it anyway. 

Im gonna have some trouble properly explaining this because I honestly have trouble understanding what they were even trying to do with not!Ciel's character here. Literally, when I finished watching this movie after five fucken hours the first thing I did was go into my discord server and write smth like "I just finished watching [the black butler live action movie] and I just gotta say, wtf was the point of any of that" and its because I was just so confused by everything they tried to do with his character.

Okay so, I guess I'll start by bringing up the 2017 Death Note movie again. That movie takes place in The Modern Day as opposed to the early 2000s like the source material, just like this movie takes place in The Modern Day as opposed to the late 19th century. However, unlike the Death Note movie, which has completely divorced itself from the canon of the source material, thus presenting itself as more of an alternate timeline, the Black Butler is very explicitly a continuation of the original's timeline, featuring different characters (with Sebastian being the only one carried over from the original) which… muddles things in a weird way.

To put it another way, 2017 movie!Light is explicitly a different version of the original Light Yagami in a world where the events of the source material never happened, while not!Ciel is essentially an original character in a world where the events of the source material did happen, except this character is just, inexplicably almost the same as the protagonist of the source material, even though the way they decided to adapt it wouldnt have necessitated doing it that way. 

Like, they could've given not!Ciel a totally different personality and backstory, but they didnt, they kept it pretty close to the original, BUT ALSO they DID change some stuff and that, combined with the fact that the original storyline did happen in the past makes for experience thats like. being gaslit through character writing, basically

And the worst part of it is, that those small changes do sooooooo much to rob this version of Ciel of so much complexity and so much of what makes OG Ciel interesting and unique. So yeah, lets go through those now I guess:

The biggest Thing here is probably the way not!Ciel's trauma is handled and before I get into that in more detail I just wanna put this disclaimer here: Im not gonna be approaching this from the perspective of portraying things like trauma realistically/responsibly, Im approaching this as a writer and someone who generally loves a lot of angst and drama and big emotional reactions to things, because its fiction, yknow? Like, you might as well go all out right??

So, in the original, Ciel's backstory/timeline goes like this: the manor burns down and his parents get killed when he's like 10 years old, he gets kidnapped and trafficked immediately afterwards, gets branded and then he gets tortured by the traffickers for a few months before he summons Sebastian and escapes. The story takes place around 2 and a half years after all of that, when Ciel is 12-going-to-turn-13-years-old-soon.

In the movie, not!Ciel's backstory/timeline goes like this: his parents get shot when hes like 6 or 7 years old, he gets branded immediately afterwards, presumably summons Sebastian immediately afterwards, disappears for two weeks for no reason before coming back with a new identity and claiming his place as head of the Genpo. The story takes place around 10 years after all of that when not!Ciel is 17 years old.

PROBLEM NUMBER ONE, we're following not!Ciel wayyy too late in his story and it just doesnt work at all. (And like, I know why they wanted him to be 17 in this, but really, they couldnt have adjusted the timeline a little bit??) I remember watching that scene where Rin and not!Ciel talk in their hiding place before she tells him to run and thinking "hmm….. something's off here but idk what" and its the fact that not!Ciel is just so fucking oblivious. Like, in the original, he knew that Mey-Rin was this insane badass beast of a woman the entire time, when she starts fucking shit up with her guns its a surprise to the audience, not to Ciel bc he like, personally hired her specifically because she was this sharpshooter with amazing eyesight. Also, we havent really gotten her backstory in the manga yet but she probably has some kinda trauma because Ciel seems to really like adopting traumatized little freaks into his household. 

In the movie though, Rin is just like, someone who worked for the Genpos before and not!Ciel didnt fire her even though she sucks at her job because…. he has a soft spot for her?? maybe??? Idk man. And it bothers me because it kind of takes a lot of the agency away from him because yknow, he doesnt actually have all the information in any given situation. Thats probably why the parts where Sebastian was just kinda fucking around upset me so much, especially when he did all of that bullshit during the climax. Or well, I guess the thing that was upsetting me the most was that not!Ciel barely reacted. A thing about OG Ciel is that he's very used to being In Control, so he kinda freaks out when hes not and that makes sense when you consider yknow, All Of The Trauma, but this joker barely does anything about it and its just ughhhhhhh. so annoying

I just realized that I started that tangent by bringing up their ages and then proceeded to talk about some shit that barely had anything to do with that lol

The age thing is like, okay. OG Ciel is only 13 but hes already acting like a jaded adult and then you also realize that he's been acting like that since he was like 10 and basically had no personal growth since then and thats like, the tragedy of his character. He was forced to grow up way too soon and now hes got that depressed-suicidal "whatever, I dont need to anything except achieve this goal and then I'll just die" mindset and he sold his soul to a demon, so its not even like hes wrong. 

And then you watch this movie and not!Ciel is 17 and he just kinda acts like a (aside from the fact that hes like, a CEO) normal 17 year old would in basically every scene except the very first one where he's totally unfazed by being held at gunpoint and. that sucks. Like, okay, Im gonna put the fact that this movie takes place in modern times and not!Ciel really has no reason not to just go to therapy aside, just say that this sucks sooooooo much of the impact out of his story and move on.

You know what else sucks a lot of the impact out of this adaptation of Ciel's story? The lack of human trafficking. I made sure to point this out at the start of my big summary and you mightve noticed this when I summed up both of their backstories, but not!Ciel didnt get human trafficked here. And I find that to be quite a strange decision. 

Like, in the manga, the stuff that he experienced while trafficked kind of defines him as a person, more so than the death of his parents (atleast in my opinion) and while the anime definitely put more emphasis on it, I wouldnt say his parents dying affected him more than the torture, it feels like more of a 50/50 thing. Theres a reason most of the musicals start with Ciel locked in a cage, surrounded by creepy weirdos, going "God is dead, I want power"!! and NOT with the house being on fire and him stumbling upon his dead parents!!! 

I also feel like it makes his motivations less interesting. Admittedly, I had some trouble figuring out what those were initially because Ciel explicitly says that he summoned Sebastian so he could help him with his revenge but he also explicitly says that revenge is futile and stupid and he wouldnt do it or smth like that. And like, maybe he does think that all revenge is futile and stupid, but he still wants to take revenge on the people who humiliated him for himself, NOT for his parents. 

And then we get fucken not!Ciel in this stupid movie being all like "Im going to avenge my parents" or whatever and its just sooooooo uninteresting man. Also, I just hate it when stories have the young protagonist's entire motivation revolve around their parents (usually their fathers). Its a personal thing and I used to not really mind, but ive been having some realizations about my actual feelings towards my parents lately and the way I deal with that is by mercilessly shitting on every fictional parent from every piece of media I consume. 

Whatever, you might remember that bit towards the end where Sebastian tells not!Ciel that hes extraordinarily average or some shit and you might remember me saying that I was gonna get into that later. It is now later. 

That scene was so weird to me because. its so similar to a scene between Claude and Alois in season 2 and it kinda made me realize that not!Ciel is less like Ciel and more like Alois if he was wayyyyyyyyy way way less unhinged, which is to say he's BORING AF. And ughhhhhhh I dont even wanna go into more detail at this point

Anyway, Im pretty sure I had a little bit more to say but I forgot what it was and I already wrote over 23.5k words about this mistake of a movie and I feel like the points I made just now about not!Ciel's character were just kinda getting progressively less and less coherent bc my brain was kinda progressively turning more and more into mush, so yeah. 

Whatever, watch the movie, its right up there in the google drive, you have no excuse not to watch it and then let me know what you think. have a nice day 

[into-september]

Three nights in a row of getting less than four hours of sleep because I wake myself coughing means I stayed home to nurse that and the sinusitis, means that I got to watch “Rocketear” live on DC. 

One thing before I get into the Scandi dub nerdery: We talked a lot about the goodness of Nino’s Film Noir RP, but the sequence with him and Adrien at school, from the moment Adrien walks into the bubbles in the hall until he transforms? That was just really, really, really good directing. I have feelings about the events of this episode and Nino in particular, but that was the point where I once again found myself grinning at the sheer quality of the work gone into this. 

- I’m pretty sure they’ve got a new script writer with S4, because the quality of the dialogue has improved. Cat Noir was definitely using some vocabulary at Alya that I doubt most real fourteen year olds today would even understand, but it’s Adrien, we know what his father is like, and I know what his father is like in this language. It checks out.

- Alya speaks with a-endings pretty much throughout, the others don’t. It’s on-brand for Adrien (even if it would be A+ if Cat Noir spoke with a-endings and Adrien did not) and not unreasonable for Marinette, buuuuut

- Given Nino’s linguistic characteristics in English, there is NO REASON for him not to speak with a-endings in Norwegian. The only reason it’s not mega weird is because it’s Disney Channel, his voice is clearly theatric and the sociolinguistics of the Norwegian theatre is a case study of its own (the real sociolinguistic issue here is the notable fact that NRK uses dialect in their kiddo dubbing and the commercial channels do not, but let’s not get into THAT can of worms)

- That said, the name I presume is Nino’s VA was listed before Adrien’s in the credits this time, and you know what? Fully earned. There isn’t usually a whole lot to DO with Nino, but the entire sequence with him and Adrien was a bloody masterpiece, oh my god. This has clearly been what the poor man has been waiting for all these five years, because he put everything he had into it and it has got to be the best three minutes this show has sounded here. Which highlighted another thing entirely: 

- For all that I enjoy the sound of Adrien’s Norwegian voice, he’s not the best at the “acting” part. He’s not horrible, but he’s no Bryce Papenbrook. And I know some people have Opinions about the quality of Papenbrook’s voice and I get that, as someone who hated Vic Mignona a decade before he got meetoo’d because Edward Elric should not sound like a fourtysomething and particularly not when Romi Park does him in Japanese. That however does not change the fact that the only boyish-sounding Adrien I’ve heard who gets the emotions on a level of Papenbrook is whoever does him in Japanese. All the rest of them sound nicer but feel flatter. Up to and including Benjamin Bollen - he’s better than most but Japanese!Adrien is still the winner (also. “Neko-chan”, I’m never getting over that one)

- what I mean is that the world would not survive if Yuri Lowenthal voiced Adrien Agreste (you know who else Yuri Lowenthal voiced? Klavier Gavin)

- She’s “Rena discreet”

- “Jagged Stones”, okay

- There’s no direct English translation for what Nino tells Adrien that Ladybug feels about Cat Noir, but it’s clearly loaned from the German “ekelhaft” and that’s your list of “ouch”. Poor little cat.